


ask to be unbroken

by BexLibris



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Photographer, Cults, Disabled Essek Thelyss, Discussion of Past Abuse, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Past Child Abuse, Trans Male Character, background beaujes, background fjorclay, model essek, photographer caleb, tags will be updated with subsequent chapters, trans Essek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22161619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BexLibris/pseuds/BexLibris
Summary: “Mr. Widogast, this is Leylas Kryn. It’s been several years since we worked together, but I may have a proposition for you.”or, the photographer/model shadowgast au no one asked for but I needed
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 153
Kudos: 499





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title comes from hozier's "to noise making"
> 
> tags/rating will be updated as the fic continues!

**|Monday 26 Fessuran|**

_Click click._

The young woman sprawled on the bed rolled onto her side, bringing her arms together to accentuate her already ample cleavage, gazing at the camera through lowered eyelashes.

_Click click click._

Caleb took a few steps to his right, changing his angle slightly, careful not to step into one of the softly-glowing lights shining onto the woman’s umber skin. She tipped her head, allowing her platinum-blonde hair to tumble across one shoulder.

“Now, uh, perhaps onto your front… _ja_ , perfect,” Caleb said as the woman obliged. He’d been worried about the ring of light floating gently over her head throwing off his lighting, but the setup he’d managed had worked perfectly so far. Boudoir photography in general was still fairly unfamiliar territory to him, but every opportunity to expand his portfolio and learn new photography styles was an opportunity he wanted to take. 

The woman, Reani, kicked her feet up behind her as she lay on her front, propping her head up on her hands. Her lips were parted ever so slightly as she gazed into the camera, her deep brown eyes almost glowing in the lights and her freckles sending ripples of gold across her face

“You are quite good at this,” Caleb said as he snapped more photos. “This is not your first shoot of this nature, is it?”

“Nope!” said the aasimar, her bright, bubbly voice a sharp contrast to her sultry poses and creamy-white lace lingerie. “I’ve done a few before but I’ve never been super satisfied with the results.” She rolled onto her back and let her arms drape artfully near her head, bending one knee. “But your name came with a high recommendation from my friend Jester, and Jester’s usually right about this sort of thing,” she said. 

Caleb blinked in surprise. “You know Jester?” he asked.

“Oh yeah! She and I run in a couple of the same circles,” Reani said. “From what I hear she recommends you to _tons_ of people who need a photographer.”

Caleb smiled. “I did not realize I was so well-touted,” he said. “But that is reassuring to hear.”

“She’s not wrong!” Reani said, sitting up. “You’ve been, like, _way_ better than the other photographers I’ve been to. You’re super nice and haven’t tried to over-direct me like other places. It’s been great to just do what I want. Also, you have a _studio cat_.” She tipped her head towards the corner of the studio where a cat tree stood. Sprawled on the top layer was an orange tabby, licking one of his paws. The cat looked at the two of them for a moment before he resumed his grooming.

Caleb nodded. “He brings a good energy to the studio, _ja?”_ He glanced down at his camera, checking the last couple photos. “I believe we are close to the end here, Miss di Angelo?” 

Reani stood up. “Perfect! This has been great.” She took a white robe from a nearby chair, wrapping herself up as Caleb looked through more of the photos.

“Would you like to take a look at a few?” he asked. “Just to make sure you are satisfied with the photos themselves before I begin editing.” Reani hurried over and peered over his shoulder as he cycled through some of the pictures.

“Those are _amazing_!” she squealed. “I can’t wait to see the final product.”

“I am glad you approve,” Caleb said. “I will begin editing them tomorrow; the final versions should be published by the end of the week.” 

Reani grinned. “I can’t _wait._ Thank you so much. And- payment is already taken care of, right?”

Caleb nodded. “Your part of this is all done. And thank _you_ for choosing Widogast Photography.”

Reani grabbed a duffle bag with her clothes in it and headed for the studio’s bathroom. “You’re definitely at the top of my recommendation list!” she called as she disappeared inside. 

While Reani changed, Caleb began packing up his equipment. The props and lights would stay, but the camera would go home with him. It was an older model, but it was the one he’d bought himself with his first big sale and it had never failed him yet.

Reani was quick, and was soon heading out the door after several more thank-yous. She was Caleb’s last appointment of the day, and the sun was just beginning to set as Caleb double-checked his bag to make sure his laptop was snug inside. He scooped up a tiny orange vest from the desk in his office and went over to the cat tower.

“Time to go home, Frumpkin,” he said, buckling the tabby into his vest. The cat stretched once, then stepped gracefully onto Caleb’s shoulders and settled around his neck like a scarf. “ _Gute Katze,_ ” he murmured, turning off his lights and locking the door as he stepped out into the evening summer air, tinged with the first crisp hints of fall. 

\-------

The gentle buzz of a text alert pulled the tired drow woman from her work fugue and she shuffled things around on her desk until she uncovered her phone.

_Essek Thelyss 9:03 pm_

_I have some news that is... less than desirable._

She typed out a brief response.

_Leylas Kryn 9:05 pm_

_Please tell me it’s not related to Friday’s runway._

_Essek Thelyss 9:06 pm_

_It’s related to Friday’s runway._

_Essek Thelyss 9:07 pm_

_One of the photographers had a major family emergency and has to travel to Marquet. Won’t be back on the continent until next week at the earliest._

_Leylas Kryn 9:07 pm_

_Are none of our other usual photographers available?_

_Essek Thelyss 9:09 pm_

_All booked up for other events. I suppose we can manage with just two…_

Leylas rubbed the bridge of her nose. It was just her luck that they’d lose a photographer for one of the biggest events of the season, if not the entire year. Essek was technically right, they _could_ just use two, but the fewer photographers one had, the fewer photos one would end up with after the event, and for the release of the Kryn fall line…

No, it wouldn’t do.

She’d have to pull from outside the agency…

She pulled up a document on her computer filled with names and phone numbers. She didn’t recognize a single one as she scrolled, and though they must have been vetted by _someone_ to make it onto the list, Leylas wasn’t going to trust just _anyone_ for this.

She abandoned the list with a sigh, gazing around her spacious office. Floor-to-ceiling windows filled one wall, looking down on the tall buildings of downtown Zadash. Off to the south she could see the Tri-Spires lit up blue and white, towering over the surrounding buildings of the Silken Terrace. Her home was somewhere in that sprawl, though it seemed like she spent more time in her office than at home these days.

On the other walls of her office were dozens of photos. Blown-up versions of her magazine covers, her photoshoots, the original sketches of her best designs. Her gaze drifted across each one until it landed on a photo in a small frame on her desk. One of her first shoots with the company. She’d been modeling what she’d come to think of as a “battle dress” with crystalline armor and silvery-blue chainmail. No real purpose, but it had been beautiful and was still one of her favorite outfits. She picked up the frame and studied the photo. It was portrait-style, of just her head and torso. Her hair rippled gently behind her and she was gazing off-camera with a warrior’s expression, like she was addressing a battalion of troops. The background almost glowed gently and her outfit seemed to be lit from within with the faintest light. 

The name hit her like a moorbounder

_Widogast._

He’d only been assisting the photographer initially, but he’d made a hesitant comment during the shoot that had changed the entire outcome.

_Leylas adjusted the triple-pointed headdress she wore as the photographer studied the last shot he’d taken. Off to the side of the set, his redheaded assistant fiddled with one of the huge lights glowing down on her._

_“Leave it, Widogast,” the photographer snapped. “It’s perfect the way it is.”_

_The man drew his hand back close to his chest. “I just- the way it’s hitting her skin, and the armor as well-”_

_“I said leave it,” the photographer growled again. “I’ll be able to-”_

_“Enough,” Leylas said smoothly. “Let me see.” She lifted the hem of her dress and strode over to the photographer, holding out her hand for the camera. Reluctantly, he handed it over and she clicked through some of the recent photos. “He’s right,” she said. “You claim to be a professional and yet you make a mistake that a student could catch.” She glanced over at the younger man, Widogast. “Do you have your own equipment?”_

_He glanced at a bag in the corner. “I- yes, Ms. Kryn, I do-”_

_“Good. You’ll be finishing the shoot.” She looked back at the photographer. “You can leave.”_

_The photographer began to stammer something, but Leylas arched one perfectly styled brow. “You can speak with my assistant on your way out. She’ll help you work something out.”_

_Once the man had packed up and left, Leylas returned her attention to the assistant. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that,” she said gently. “You seemed to have something in mind to fix this issue?”_

_The young man’s cheeks flushed, but he hurried over to the light he’d been messing with. “All it really needs it something to diffuse the light; it’s not a very difficult solution,” he muttered._

_“Well, if your mentor couldn’t think of it, it can’t be that simple,” Leylas said with a chuckle._

_Widogast was sorting through the lighting equipment, but Leylas caught a tiny smile on his face. “He’s not really my mentor,” Widogast said after a moment. His voice had a lilting Zemnian accent. “I am just an intern. I have to get experience to build up my resume, you know?” He pulled out several large opaque fabric circles and began affixing them to the lights, softening the shine._

_“Well, you’ll certainly have a buff after today,” Leylas said with a smile. “And I’ll make sure you are fairly compensated for your work as well.” The man returned a soft smile and went to retrieve his own camera._

_“I greatly appreciate it, Ms. Kryn,” he said._

It was a long shot, but if Widogast was still doing photography, Leylas trusted him more than any of the names of the list. She rose from her desk and moved to a filing cabinet in the corner, pulling open the top drawer and rifling through a series of papers until she found the folder she was looking for- the details of that shoot. Returning to her desk, she quickly pulled up a search page for the name she’d found. The first result was for an instagram photography page for one Caleb Widogast. It was the same person; she was sure of it. She took down the contact phone number and closed her computer, gathering her things and sending one last text to Essek.

_Leylas Kryn 9:23 pm_

_Crisis averted. I think I’ve found a suitable replacement._

_Essek Thelyss 9:24 pm_

_I didn’t doubt for a second._

\--------

Caleb’s phone rang at 10:30 the following morning. It was a number he didn’t recognize, but it was directed to his business account. 

“Thank you for calling Widogast Photography; Caleb Widogast speaking.”

The voice on the other end was smooth and… slightly familiar, though he couldn’t place it until she said her name.

_“Mr. Widogast, this is Leylas Kryn. It’s been several years since we worked together, but I may have a proposition for you.”_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The photo that Caleb took of Leylas is meant to resemble Nikki Dawes' [art](https://twitter.com/nikkidawesdraws/status/1109218161918922752) of the Bright Queen!
> 
> please let me know what you thought! I'm very excited to get this story going! as always, come yell about CR with me on my [tumblr!](caliannamordsson.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**|Tuesday 27 Fessuran|**

Caleb set his phone down, staring at it as though it were an explosive device. 

That couldn’t have been  _ the _ Leylas Kryn.  _ She _ wouldn’t call someone like him, would she? It had to be a prank. It must have been Jester messing with him. Caleb stared at his dark phone screen for a minute more before shaking his head and rising from his desk, heading for the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As he crossed the threshold of his office, his phone chimed with the arrival of an email. Caleb paused, looked back, and returned to his desk. He opened the email.

_ From: z.olios@krynmodelingagency.com _

_ To: calebwidogast@widogastphotography.com _

_ CC: l.kryn@krynmodelingagency.com _

_ Dear Mr. Widogast, _

_ As per the request of Ms. Kryn I have attached several documents concerning the upcoming runway event this Friday, including a contract for you to sign with the previously discussed terms, a general schedule of events, and a personal schedule of what will be required of you during the event. Please print out and sign the contract and bring it with you to the event. _

_ We greatly appreciate your assistance in this event! Please respond to this email with any questions you may have. _

_ Regards, _

_ Zethris Olios _

_ Kryn Modeling Agency _

_ Attachments _

_ KMAPhotographerContract.PDF _

_ KMAFallRunwaySched.PDF _

_ KMAPhotog3Sched.PDF _

Caleb opened the email on his laptop to view the documents on a bigger screen. He opened the contract first, reading through the terms. It was an expanded version of what Leylas Kryn had discussed on the phone-  _ scheisse, _ it really had been Leylas Kryn. 

The payment she’d mentioned caught his eye on the document. He’d almost choked when she’d given him the rates for Kryn event photographers but had managed a polite agreement. Seeing the figure in print had him sinking down into his chair again, his hands shaking slightly. His business was successful enough to keep him comfortable, certainly, but he normally charged a  _ fraction _ of what he was being offered for this event.

He read through the contract several more times to make sure he understood everything that was being laid out before clicking the  _ print _ button. He retrieved the document from the printer, signed on the various dotted lines, and tucked the papers into his camera bag. He sank back into his office chair and rubbed his face, blowing out a breath through pursed lips. Frumpkin came padding into the room and wound around his ankles before jumping up into his lap, butting gently at his arms and chest.

“Ah,  _ Katze, _ don’t worry, I’m fine. I am just a bit blown away by all this; it does not seem quite real.” He scratched Frumpkin behind the ears, listening to the tabby’s loud purrs. “I did not think she would even remember me, but apparently I made a good impression all those years ago, eh?” A thought struck him and he opened up the email again, beginning a reply.

_ From: calebwidogast@widogastphotography.com _

_ To: z.olios@krynmodelingagency.com _

_ Zethris, _

_ Thank you for the prompt email with the documents. I am quite looking forward to the event but I did have one piece of information to convey- less of a question and more of an FYI. _

_ I am the owner of a service cat. He is very well behaved and will stay out of the way during the event but I wanted to make you and your personnel aware of the fact. _

_ Thank you, _

_ Caleb Widogast _

“Your first runway show,” Caleb murmured, scratching Frumpkin under the chin. “You must promise that you will stay with me. I know it is called the catwalk, but it is not for you,  _ ja?”  _ he joked. Frumpkin, as if in reply, chirped and rubbed his cheek along Caleb’s. “Well-” Caleb looked at Reani’s photo that was pulled up in the editing software on his desktop. His edits were almost complete and he could knock out a few more before the day was up. “We should celebrate tonight. Perhaps invite Molly and Jester out for drinks?”

“ _ Mrrp?” _ was the cat’s reply. 

\-------

Later that night, Caleb entered the softly lit interior of the Leaky Tap, his favorite little pub. At the bar, a white dragonborn looked up from the pint glass he was filling and gave him a toothy grin and a welcoming nod, which Caleb returned. He immediately picked out Molly and Jester at a booth off to the side- the most colorful spot in the room- and hurried over. The tieflings gave him matching grins as he approached and scooted around to give him space.

“Sooo, Caleb, what’s this big news?” Jester wiggled in her seat. “I’ve been dying to know all day!”

“Let the man get a drink first, for goodness’ sake,” Molly chided, their tail smacking Jester lightly on the arm.

Jester pouted but relented while Caleb shed his coat and made his way up to the bar, getting a beer from the dragonborn before returning to the table. “All right,  _ spill!” _ she begged. “I’ve been trying to figure out what it could be! Molly thinks you finally got a boyfriend-”

Caleb sputtered slightly as he took his first sip of beer.

“-but I think it’s something about your photography.”

Caleb grabbed a napkin and wiped his chin. “I hate to disappoint, but I do not have a boyfriend,” Caleb said. “But you are not far from the truth, Jester. I have been contacted to be a photographer at Kryn Modeling Age-”

_ “WHAT?!” _ Jester and Molly’s simultaneous shrieks echoed through the room, temporarily halting conversations at the other tables as the other patrons glanced over. Caleb gave a sheepish reassuring wave, blushing slightly.

“Say it a little louder, will you?” he muttered even as Jester and Molly began assaulting him with questions.

“You’re going to be working for KMA?!”

“How long will you be working there?”

“You won’t have to cancel our next shoot, will you? Because I like working with you, Cayyy-leb.”

Caleb raised his hands in mock surrender. “First of all, it is just one event. They were short a photographer for their runway show this Friday-”

Molly gave a mock wail of anguish, clasping their hands over their heart. “The  _ fall line _ release? I could  _ die _ of jealousy, Caleb.”

“Yes, the fall line release,” Caleb said. “Leylas Kryn called this morning-”

“Shut up shut up shut  _ up!” _ Jester squealed. “‘ _ The Queen’ herself _ called you?!”

“I worked with her very briefly a while back as an assistant on a shoot,” Caleb explained. “I helped fix an error with the lighting that my boss was ignoring and she had me finish it up. Apparently I left a lasting impression.”

“You have all the luck,” Molly groaned, taking a swig of their cocktail.

“Molly, you were literally a cosplay guest at Nicodranas Comic Con  _ and _ Emon Anime Con this year alone,” Jester said.

“Hey, Kryn Modeling is a beacon of what modeling agencies and all major corporations should strive to be. Leylas Kryn donates a huge percentage of her design sales to local charities and a  _ ton  _ of KMA models are trans or nonbinary. You know ‘the Shadowhand?’ Essek Thelyss? He’s trans  _ and _ disabled and he’s got one of their fashion houses named after him already and he’s only, like, 30.” Molly swirled their drink. “He’s a fucking  _ icon _ .” They chuckled. “Really though, Caleb, I’m happy for you. That’s a huge opportunity. Just promise that when you make it big, you won’t forget about your first clients?” they teased.

Caleb chuckled. “I will likely not be “going big” from this, Mollymauk,” he said. “But regardless, thank you. It’s exciting. I’m a little nervous, actually.”

Jester gasped suddenly, clapping her hands. “Oh, Caleb, do you have an outfit picked out? You’re gonna have to wear something _ fancy _ probably, you know.”

“I...had not considered it, yet, actually. I don’t know if I have something that would fit in at this sort of event,” Caleb mused.

Jester and Molly shared a look. “Well, you know what that means, then,” Molly said with a sly grin. “We’re gonna have to take you shopping.”

Jester clapped her hands again. “Caleb, we’re gonna give you a  _ makeover!”  _ she declared.

“Really, I don’t think that’s necessary,” Caleb protested. “I can easily go get something on my own-” 

Molly waved their hand, cutting him off. “Nope. It’s decided. We’re your makeover team,” they said. “Are you busy Thursday? We could take you out shopping then.”

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” Caleb said with a good-natured groan.

“Nope!” chirped Molly and Jester in unison.

Caleb took another sip of beer. “Then Thursday it is.”

\-------

**|Thursday 29 Fessuran|**

Thursday rolled around before Caleb knew it and suddenly he was in the backseat of Jester’s powder-blue bug with Molly in the passenger seat on the way to the mall. Their attitude was contagious and Caleb found himself singing along to the songs Jester blasted from her radio. Truth be told, he was glad for their help. There was no dress code specified in the documents he’d been given but somehow he doubted that his trusty old black dress shirt would really cut it among the rich and fashionable.

Jester parked and the three piled out of the car. “I texted Nott too,” Jester said. “She’s meeting us here in a bit; she had to pick Luc up from school and drop him off at home, but she wanted to get in on the makeover process.”

Caleb smiled fondly. Veth “Nott” Brenatto had been a friend of his for several years now. The halfling woman was a detective with the Zadash Police Department who had met Caleb when his first studio had been broken into. She’d managed to help him recover all of the stolen equipment and something about the two had drawn them together in a friendship outside their professional relationship. Caleb had been around for the birth of her son, Luc, five years back- indeed, had babysat him on multiple occasions when Nott and her husband, Yeza, needed a night off from being busy parents. Of course she wanted to watch Molly and Jester dress Caleb up.

The trio used one of the department store entrances into the mall. Jester turned to Caleb.

“So we could look in the department stores but I have ideas for smaller stores in the mall I want to try,” she said. “I saw this  _ really _ nice coat the other day while I was shopping for my mama’s birthday that I thought would look really nice on Caleb, and now I have a reason to make you wear it!”

Caleb shrugged gently, prompting Frumpkin (currently slung around his shoulders) to chirp at him. “Whatever you want to try, Jester. I do not have any preferences.”

“Okay, but you have to actually like what we end up getting! You’re not allowed to just agree with the first thing,” Jester said, poking him in the bicep. “Promise?”

Caleb gave her a gentle smile. “I promise, Jester.” He glanced around the racks of clothing as they passed through the brightly-lit department store. “Should we start here or try one of the boutiques first?”

“I agree with Jester, we should start with smaller stores,” Molly said. “We’ll get more unique options.” 

The trio quickly found themselves in a store full to the brim with bright fabrics and beautiful jewelry, but Jester made faces at most of the clothes they passed. Occasionally she would stop and pull something from the rack, only to make a  _ tsk _ noise and hang it back up. Caleb didn’t see anything really  _ wrong  _ with most of the clothes she grabbed, but apparently she did. 

“That one was nice,” he offered as Jester put a burnt-orange waistcoat back onto the hanger. 

“It would’ve clashed with your  _ hair _ , Caleb,” Jester said. “You need something with cool tones. I don’t think any of this will work. It’s all too bright. We need something more muted.”

“I feel like you are just saying that because you want to show me that coat,” Caleb mused. 

“I  _ dooo!” _ Jester said, beginning to backtrack towards the entrance to the store. “It was  _ soooo  _ nice! It was everything I keep saying!”

“Okay, but if I end up liking it, does that mean I am not allowed to say yes to it because it is the first thing you are showing me?” Caleb teased.

Jester grumbled something in Infernal. “No, it doesn’t,  _ Cay _ -leb, because I really like it. If you actually do like it, you can say yes.”

“Then you’d best get us over there, because now I’m dying to see it too,” Molly said.

“Okay, it was this really nice place called Dalen’s Closet,” Jester said. “It’s over in the other half.”

Halfway to the new destination there was a shouted greeting followed by running footsteps and a chubby halfling woman appeared from behind a kiosk, braids swinging and button necklace clicking gently. 

“You haven’t dressed him up yet, have you? I haven’t missed anything?” asked Nott.

“ _ Nein _ , we have only been to one shop and Jester has been eager to show us something she saw the other day,” Caleb said. “So this may be a shorter trip than anticipated.”

Nott shrugged. “Any chance to hang out with you is a chance I’ll take,” she said. “Feels like we haven’t spent any time together lately.”

It was true- Nott had spent the last couple weeks on an extended stakeout and the few times someone else had had the daytime shifts it seemed Caleb had been busy instead. 

“Did you catch whoever you were trying to find?” Jester said as they set off again. “On your long stakeout?”

“Hm? Oh, him? Yeah, he finally slipped up and we snagged him the other day,” Nott said. “I’m glad to be done. It’s hard to be away from my boys all the time. Luc misses me a lot; I only really saw him when I got home at night and he was just settling down for bed.” She sighed. “Captain Feelid understands, though. They try not to put me on the longer stakeouts for the most part. Just didn’t really have too many options for this one; everyone else was wrapped up in something.” She gave her three companions a grateful smile. “Thanks for jumping in on days when Yeza needed an extra hand around the house.”

“It was no problem,” Molly reassured her, flashing a pointy-toothed grin. Their tail flicked behind them. “Luc loves me. He likes playing with my horn jewelry and he’s absolutely enamored with my coat.” The coat in question was the dark red peacoat they currently wore, absolutely covered in embroidery they’d done in every color of the rainbow. It had taken them nearly a year and as far as Caleb could tell, it was one of their most prized possessions.

“But he calls me Auntie Jester,” Jester teased. “So I think I’m his favorite.”

“Ah, but I have his favorite snuggle friend,” Caleb said, reaching up to scratch Frumpkin under the chin. “He always falls asleep faster with Frumpkin cuddling with him.”

Nott gave a good-natured eye roll. “He loves all three of you and I don’t think he could choose a favorite.” 

Jester pointed across the way. “There it is!” she said excitedly. The rest of the group followed her blue finger to a smaller store, lit with soft white lighting inside. The sign out front read “Dalen’s Closet” in dark blue script, each letter illuminated gently from behind. 

Soft Marquesian music played over the store’s speakers and an elven Marquesian woman made her way over to them, smiling brightly.    
  


“Welcome to Dalen’s Closet,” she said in accented Common. “Was there anything in particular I can help you find, or are you just browsing?”

“Actually, yes!” Jester said brightly. “I was here the other day and I saw this beautiful coat, kind of a nice eggplant color with this shimmery pattern on the inside?”

The woman clapped her hands together. “I know exactly the coat of which you speak. Please, follow me.” She led them further into the store, past racks of Marquesian fashion.

“This coat is not a style we usually carry,” she commented as they walked. “Our wares generally tend to be from Marquesian designers, but Xhorhasian fashion is coming up very quickly in the world with the rise of designers and models like Leylas Kryn, and Dalen’s Closet prides itself on staying on top of trends.”

Jester turned to Caleb, a grin on her face.  _ Xhorhasian coat! _ she mouthed.  _ So perfect! _

Caleb was a little apprehensive about the garment- how had Jester described it? Eggplant? With shiny designs? He was well aware of her good taste, but that felt like it was going to be outside of his comfort zone. His style tended to gravitate towards sweaters in earth tones- the only purple thing he’d ever owned was a polo shirt when he was younger. Even his current coat was just plain brown.

“Let me see…” The saleswoman had stopped at a rack. “Ah, here it is.” She pulled a coat from the rack and Caleb’s interest was piqued. 

The coat was indeed sort of a purple color, but not nearly as “eggplant” as he’d pictured. There was definitely a more muted brown hue within the purple, calming the color somewhat, and the shimmery pattern was a subtle geometric detailing on each thin coattail- of which the coat had 4. It was also clearly designed a bit more for fashion than protection against colder temperatures. 

“What do you think?” Jester and the saleswoman said at the same time. 

Caleb studied the coat for a beat. “I think I would like to try it on,” he said, which made Jester clap her hands. 

“I knew it would be good!” she squealed as the saleswoman led them towards the fitting rooms.

Once Caleb had stepped into the large stall and locked the door, he bent over slightly so that Frumpkin could jump to the bench. He shed his own coat and hung it on the hook before donning the purple one. The material was soft and smooth and he spent a moment rubbing a cuff between one thumb and forefinger. 

Long sleeves. Good.

Texture was a big thing with Caleb and many a shirt had to be rejected because the material on his skin was just… bad. That was one of the things Caleb liked about Frumpkin- it wasn’t officially part of his duties, but the feeling of his fur was a good texture for Caleb if something else was bad.

“Cayyy-leb, did you get stuck in your clothes?” came Jester’s voice from outside, snapping him out of his focus on the sleeve. Oops- he’d gotten a little lost in his own head.

“Uh,  _ nein, nein _ , I’m coming out.” He unlocked the door and stepped out, the coat swirling around his calves as he did so.

Jester put her hands to her cheeks in delight. “Caleb, you look so  _ handsome!” _ She walked around him with a critical eye as Molly and Nott looked on.

“I agree,” Molly said. “Plum is a good color on you.” They reached forward and adjusted the collar slightly. “I think… I mean, we can’t just leave it at the coat, not now that we know it looks this good on you.”

“Yes! I’m thinking a nice dress shirt- ooh, or a tunic sort of thing, some slacks, maybe some nice tall boots,” Jester said, returning to the front and framing Caleb between her fingers. “And of course we have to stick to the Xhorhasian theme.”

The saleswoman returned to the dressing rooms. “Doing all right?” she asked. “Oh, that looks very nice on you,” she commented upon seeing Caleb. “I saw the scarf you had on and I found this that I thought might look nice with the coat.” She held up a long, grey scarf with silvery triangles printed on it. Jester took it and tossed it around Caleb’s shoulders.

“It’s  _ perfect _ ,” she said. “We’ll take both!” The saleswoman smiled and left them in the changing rooms. 

Caleb worried the end of the sleeve between his fingers again. “I don’t know if I need a whole outfit; surely I can just-”

“No, you  _ can’t, _ Caleb,” Jester sang, gently tugging at the coat to pull it from his shoulders. “Just let us treat you, okay?”

Caleb sighed, but relented, letting Jester hang the coat and scarf back on the hanger and take them up to the register. Jester wouldn’t let him see how much the clothes had cost, but he knew it must be a lot. The saleswoman wrapped each item in purple tissue paper before putting it into a box and handing it across the counter. Caleb took it, holding it to his chest as they left the store.   
  
“Okay, I think there’s a Xhorhasian shop here too. Let’s try there for the rest of the outfit,” Jester said.

\-------

It was a couple hours and a visit to both the Xhorhasian boutique and the food court later when they left the mall. Caleb had agreed to get the shirt, pants and boots that Jester had picked out on the condition that she let him pay for them (“My salary for this event is more than I know what to do with, Jester.”) and the Xhorhasian boutique was fortunately not quite as exorbitantly priced as Dalen’s Closet.

Molly and Jester dropped Caleb off at his apartment. 

“You have to tell us  _ everything _ ,” Molly said. “Like, down to the food. I want an hors d'oeuvres list,” they teased, their tail snaking back and tapping Caleb’s knee.

“Have fun!” Jester said. “It’s going to be so cool! I’m super jealous.”

“It is just-” Caleb began, but Molly cut him off.

“Caleb, I swear, if you say it’s just another photography gig, I will get Nott to glitterbomb your apartment,” they said, their red scleras twinkling. 

Caleb smiled. “All right,” he admitted. “I  _ am _ very excited about this. And very nervous. I do not want to do anything wrong or make a fool of myself.”

Molly and Jester erupted in reassurances that Caleb would be fine, that he would be  _ awesome _ , and Caleb climbed out of the car feeling lucky that he had such supportive friends.

Frumpkin wound around his feet as he climbed to the second floor of the apartment building, boxes and bags balanced carefully in one hand as he fiddled with his keys with the other.

“What a day, eh,  _ Katze?” _ he said as he unlocked his apartment and stepped inside, setting his packages down on the floor in the entryway and locking the door behind him. “And another tomorrow.”

Once he had taken off his coat and shoes, he took the packages to his closet and carefully hung each garment before heading to his office and settling down for some more editing. He was nearly done with Reani’s pictures and wanted to finish everything up before the weekend.

And he did, though he lost track of time somewhat and nearly fell asleep at his desk before saving the last photo and shutting down his computer. He changed into an old Zadash University tee and a pair of flannel pants before crawling into bed, Frumpkin nosing into his side and curling up there. Caleb was asleep within minutes.

\-------

_ “-don’t think I should-” _

_ “-make you better-” _

_ “-don’t be a wuss, Bren-” _

_ “-it hurts, please-” _

_ “-Hush, Bren, it’ll be over soon-” _

A ragged cry broke in Caleb’s throat as he sat bolt upright, face and shirt drenched in sweat. His eyes were screwed shut against the images of his nightmare, but they still loomed in the darkness. His own breaths were loud and shaky in his ears and it took several moments for him to realize that Frumpkin was meowing loudly and butting his head into Caleb’s hands, trying to separate them from where they were digging into his arms, clawing at the faint white scars there.

He managed to unclench his hands, though they shook as Frumpkin pushed his nose into Caleb’s palm. The cold wetness helped cut through Caleb’s haze of fear and confusion and gave him something to focus on. 

Caleb curled over and buried his face in Frumpkin’s side, scratching the cat with shaky fingers. Frumpkin was purring like a motor; vibrations that Caleb could feel in his chest as his heartrate finally began to slow down.

Fifteen years.

Fifteen years, and the nightmares were still as fresh as they’d been as a teenager.

What was he supposed to do? Five things, four things… 

_ Five things you can see. _

It was dark, but his eyes had long since adjusted. He glanced around. There was his diploma hanging on the wall. The shape of the clothes hamper in the corner. The points of Frumpkin’s ears a few inches away. The shaft of moonlight that poked between a gap in his curtains. His blanket.

_ Four things you can touch. _

Again, there was Frumpkin’s silky ears- he ran a finger along one of them. The hem of his t-shirt. The worn drawstrings on his pajama pants. The smooth wood of the headboard of his bed.

_ Three things you can hear. _

This one took a bit longer. Frumpkin was still purring, obviously. He waited a moment and heard a faint birdcall outside in the night. A car drove past the apartment building, its engine rumble growing and fading as it passed by.

_ Two things you can smell. _

Once again, Frumpkin helped him out. The cat always had a faint smell of his own- not bad, just there. He could smell the deodorant he’d put on earlier that day.

_ One thing you can taste. _

It was faint, but the minty taste of his toothpaste still lingered in his mouth.

_ Five four three two one. It was just a nightmare. _

Caleb lay motionless, curled into Frumpkin for a few more minutes. Maybe it was longer. He wasn’t really sure, but finally he swung his legs over the side of the bed and dug a fresh shirt out of the dresser, wiping his face with the old one before discarding it in the hamper.

Back in bed, Caleb closed his eyes again, but sleep was not as easily achieved this time around. He glanced over at his alarm clock. 

_ 3:23 am _

Well, at least he could sleep in, if he managed to get back to sleep at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always please let me know what you thought!


	3. Chapter 3

**|Friday 1 Quen’pillar|**

A bleary-eyed Caleb stumbled into the bathroom around noon, shedding clothes in front of the tub and tugging at the faucet handle until warm water rushed out of the showerhead. He had a vague memory of getting out of bed a few hours earlier when Frumpkin had announced his hunger but had fallen right back into bed afterwards. Sleep after his nightmare had been fitful, but he figured he’d managed a solid eight or nine hours overall.

Caleb let the jet of water rush against his forehead for a moment before taking a deep breath.

It was just a nightmare. Nothing more. 

_ Put it out of your head, Widogast. Stay on task for tonight. _

Fifteen minutes later, a somewhat-reinvigorated Caleb stepped out of the shower. Frumpkin had nosed open the bathroom door and was sitting on the bath mat, licking a paw. He paused when Caleb pulled back the curtain, tongue partway out of his mouth and gazed up at Caleb.

“Thank you for the blep, Frumpkin,” Caleb said with a gentle laugh as he toweled off. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt - no need to get all dressed up quite yet. He didn’t have to be at the show til 5- that was a long while to sit in nice clothes, especially with a cat whose favorite hobbies included shedding.

Waiting around did not suit Caleb, though, and with several hours to kill between when he had to get ready and now and with nervous energy buzzing in his body, he decided to go for a walk.

Within a couple minutes his coat was on, Frumpkin was harnessed, and Caleb was heading down the sidewalk in front of his apartment. He didn’t really have a destination in mind; he was really just trying to burn off energy for the show, but without really thinking about it he found himself heading in the direction of The Wild Kiln, one of his favorite coffee shops.

The wooden sign, hanging perpendicular to the wall, was visible from down the street. It was shaped like an old brick oven, and painted in flowy black writing were the words

**_The Wild Kiln_ **

**_Coffee Shop • Bakery • Nursery_ **

**_Owned and operated by the Clays since 787 PD_ **

The red brick building had large glass windows taking up the front wall. Strings of tiny fairy lights were strung along the edges of the windows and pretty fall leaf decorations were affixed to the inside of the glass. Caleb pushed open the door, causing a little wind chime above it to clink gently. A rush of warm, scented air enveloped Caleb, as well as the murmur of a dozen conversations. A dozen or so tables were placed across the floor, and a few booths were situated along the front windows.

Along the back of the room was a counter attached to a pastry display case. A large blackboard on the back wall displayed a handwritten list of drinks available. A screen door in the back corner was closed, but Caleb knew it led out into a greenhouse attached to the back of the building. Several of the tea plants were grown out back, and there were several varieties of plants available for purchase as well, like aloe and herbs.

Caleb inhaled deeply through his nose, taking in the combination of tea blends, pastries and herbs. It had been a good idea to come here. His subconscious knew what he needed.

Caleb wove his way between the tables and made his way up to the counter where the youngest of the Clay family, a tall pale-grey firbolg named Caduceus, leaned on the other side, talking to a half-orc man holding a cup of coffee. Caduceus glanced over at Caleb approaching and gave him a smile before saying something to the half-orc, who leaned over to plant a kiss on the firbolg’s cheek.

“I’ll see you when you get off?” he said to Caduceus as Caleb came within earshot.

Caduceus nodded. “Four o’clock; I’ll text you when I leave.”

The half-orc gave Caleb a smile framed by short tusks before heading out, waving to Caduceus.

Caleb raised his eyebrows at Caduceus with a smile. “Special friend,  _ Herr _ Clay?”

It was hard to tell under the velvety grey fur, but Caleb saw a pink flush color Caduceus’ cheeks as he grinned.

“My boyfriend, Fjord,” he said. “He, uh, was with kind of a bad person for a while and I was just helping him leave the relationship and get back on his feet, and it just sort of… happened.”

Caleb chuckled. “You are a cute couple,” he said. “I am glad you were able to help him out of that situation, though I would expect nothing less from you.”

“You’re too kind, Mr. Caleb,” Caduceus said with a grin. He plucked a cup from a stack. “The usual?”

“Ah, no, I need something a little different today. I have an event tonight that has got me feeling somewhat nervous-”

“And you need something calming?” Caduceus finished in that way that always made Caleb wonder if he could read minds. “How does a chamomile blend sound? Or maybe rose tea? Both are good for reducing stress and anxiety.”

“Chamomile would be perfect,” Caleb said gratefully. “And a blueberry muffin, if you would be so kind.” 

Caduceus gave him a wink. “Be right up,” he said. His hand dipped below the counter for a moment and brought up a little brown pellet. “Something for Frumpkin as well?” he offered, holding out the treat. Caleb leaned forward, letting Frumpkin take the treat from his perch on Caleb’s shoulder.

“Much obliged,” Caleb said, and wandered to the side as Caduceus bustled around behind the counter, bringing up a mug of hot water and the little sachet of leaves on a saucer and a blueberry muffin on a plate. Caleb handed Caduceus his card and dropped a few dollars into the tip jar before taking his food.

He turned to head for a table and almost bumped into the person who had appeared noiselessly behind him.

“ _ Scheisse, _ I am sorry, I did not see you, I, uh...” Caleb apologized, trailing off as he took in the drow standing before him.

He was taller than Caleb by a few inches, with short white hair that was swept stylishly back from his face. He seemed a bit overdressed for a coffee shop; in a dress shirt that was so dark purple it was almost black, though somehow not clashing with his dusky purplish skin. In his right hand was a jet-black cane, inlaid with white crystalline spirals and topped with a small multifaceted gem.

_ Dodecahedron, _ something in the back of Caleb’s mind supplied, but Caleb could hardly focus on the crystal, because…  _ scheisse _ , the drow was  _ stunningly  _ beautiful.

“No, I should apologize,” the drow said in a lightly accented voice. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” His lips quirked in a gentle smile. “Your cat is very handsome. I won’t disturb him, though.”

He moved up to the counter, leaning gently on the cane, and placed an order with Caduceus as Caleb went and found a small table. Frumpkin climbed down onto Caleb’s lap as Caleb dropped the tea bag into the water, bobbing it gently a couple times with his spoon as he glanced up at the drow again.

The drow in question was collecting a disposable cup from Caduceus and heading for the door. He caught Caleb’s eye as he left and flashed another gentle smile, making Caleb blush furiously.

The blush was not lost on Caduceus, who gave him a knowing smile and an eyebrow wiggle very similar to the one Caleb had given him when he’d walked in.

Caleb finished his muffin and tea, put his dishes in the receptacle, and left feeling much more relaxed than when he’d arrived- albeit a little flustered now for a different reason- but ready for whatever chaos was waiting for him.

\--------

As Caleb was getting ready, his phone buzzed with a text- then another- then several came through all at once. He scooped it up to find a series of messages from Jester popping up on the screen.

_ Jester Lavorre 4:42 pm _

_ caaaayleb what are u doing with ur hair _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:42 pm _

_ are u styling it _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:42 pm _

_ u should put it up _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:42 pm _

_ like in a nice little ponytail or something _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:43 pm _

_ it would look good with the suit _

Caleb shook his head, smiling at the rapid-fire messages before typing out a response.

_ Caleb Widogast 4:44 pm _

_ I had not considered it yet. I will try a ponytail and send you a picture so you can critique it. _

Caleb finished buttoning up his shirt and went into the bathroom. Since he’d let his hair grow long, he’d acquired a few elastics but usually let it hang loose around his face. He brushed it back, trying to keep the strands smooth, before tying it off. A couple contrary locks were not quite long enough to stay in the elastic and fell forward around his cheeks.

He opened the camera on his phone and snapped an awkward picture before sending it to Jester.

_ Jester Lavorre 4:47 pm _

_ caleb. how are u so good at taking pictures with a real camera and yet ur selfies are so hopeless?? _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:47 pm _

_ but it looks good!! u should wear it up more often _

_ Caleb Widogast 4:48 pm _

_ I am glad to have passed inspection. I will send you a picture of the outfit as well. _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:48 pm _

_ traveler help u _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:48 pm _

_ jk jk i wanna see!!! _

Caleb set his phone down and pulled the coat off its hanger in his closet. The light rippled gently on the lining’s pattern as he slung it over his shoulders. He wrapped the scarf loosely across his shoulders as well, taking a moment to study himself in the mirror.

All in all, he was surprised- but impressed. The outfit pulled together well and Jester was right- the low ponytail was stylish and helped pull the look together. He retrieved his phone, tried a mirror selfie and sent it to Jester.

_ Jester Lavorre 4:51 pm _

_ cayyyyleb it looks so gooooood! _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:52 pm _

_ good luck tonight!! have fun!! send pics if u can!! molly was serious about the hors d'oeuvres, they wanna know what kma craft services is like lol _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:53 pm _

_ [blue thumbs up emoji] [grinning tiefling emoji] [blue heart emoji] _

_ Caleb Widogast 4:55 pm _

_ Thank you for all your help, Jester. I really appreciate it. _

_ Jester Lavorre 4:56 pm _

_ no prob caleb!! now get ur butt over to the event center and crush iiiiiit!! _

_ Caleb Widogast 4:57 pm _

_ That certainly is the plan. _

Caleb bundled Frumpkin into his harness and did one last check-through of his equipment bag. Everything was in place- as it had been the last couple times he’d checked- but it never hurt to check again. The documents Zethris had asked him to bring were safely stowed in the main pocket alongside his camera. He had extra batteries, his different bulbs… everything was there.

Bag over one shoulder and Frumpkin on the other, Caleb headed down to the parking garage.


	4. Chapter 4

It was surprisingly painless to get to the event center and find parking- not an easy feat downtown Zadash- and soon Caleb was pushing through the main doors of the event center. Following the instructions from the email, he picked up a badge at a security desk and followed posted signs into a large hall that had been draped in dark fabrics. A T-shaped stage stretched about a third of the way through the room, and several people swarmed around it, making last-minute adjustments to lights and the material that hung from the sides.

Caleb self-consciously pulled his bag a little closer to him. He was supposed to check in with Zethris, but where…?

He turned in a slow circle, trying to stay out of the way of the garment racks being wheeled past and the PAs rushing by with clipboards. How could he find anyone to ask-

“Mr. Widogast?”

Caleb turned. A drow woman was approaching, wearing a white blouse and navy pencil skirt. Her white hair was swept over one shoulder. She held out a hand. “I’m Zethris Olios, Ms. Kryn’s assistant; we conversed over email a few times. Thank you so much for being here- let me show you around a bit and I’ll help you get situated. I take it this is your first runway event?”

Caleb nodded and let out a weak chuckle. “Is it that obvious that I am a bit out of my depth?”

She gave him a kind smile. “It’s quite overwhelming at the moment- don’t worry, we’ve got a little greenroom for photographers to use if you need to. Things will calm down out here shortly if you want to come back and figure out the best angles then, but for now, let me show you the places you’ll need to know, and then you can put your stuff down if you’d like and get settled.” She gave him a quick once-over and another smile. “And I like the outfit.”

“You would have to thank my friends for that,” Caleb said, absently rubbing the sleeve between his fingers. “They took me shopping.”

Caleb followed Zethris across the hall and out another door, where they found themselves in a hallway with several other doors. 

Zethris pointed to a door on the same side that they’d just emerged from. “That’s backstage; the models’ dressing rooms. You won’t need to go there, but it’s labeled so there shouldn’t be any confusion.” She led him further down the hall and opened another door with a paper reading PHOTOGRAPHERS attached.

“Here’s where you can put the equipment you don’t need out by the stage,” she said. “If you plan on attending the reception, you can leave equipment here then as well.” Inside the room, a young woman looked up from her own camera and nodded politely to Caleb. Her ears were very slightly pointed, not quite half-elven- maybe there had been an elf a couple generations back in her family. She had dark brown hair chopped short in a pixie cut and bright blue eyes.

“We’re waiting on one more photographer, but we’ve still got a window. You two were just quite punctual,” Zethris said. “Which is greatly appreciated.”

The phone that seemed to have just materialized in Zethris’ hand chimed, and she glanced at the screen briefly. “I’ve got to run; please excuse me,” she said, nodding to the photographers. “If you need anything else, just ask someone with one of these badges.” She tapped the badge clipped to her blouse. It was slightly different than Caleb’s, he noticed, and the image was quickly fixed in his memory before Zethris disappeared through the door.

Caleb turned to the other photographer. “Ah,  _ hallo _ , I’m Caleb.” He held out his hand.

The young woman shook it. “Vesper,” she supplied. “I don’t think I’ve seen you at KMA events before?”

“Ah, no, I’m something of a temporary replacement,” Caleb replied. The sleeve of his coat found its way between his fingers for a moment before he set his bag down on an open table and began unpacking his equipment. Frumpkin stepped down onto the table as well. “One of the usual photographers was unable to make it.”

“I’ve done a few shows; if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask!” Vesper said. “Are you Camera 1 or 3? I’m 2.”

Caleb pulled out the schedule he’d been given. “I am… 3. I have some direction on where I’m supposed to stay and shoot from, but perhaps you could point it out to me in the room itself?”

“Sure thing,” Vesper said, rising from her seat. “Hopefully things have calmed down in the runway room itself and we won’t get trampled or anything.” 

Caleb clipped a lead to Frumpkin’s harness, looped the other end around his wrist, and rose to follow her with a quiet “ _ Komm schon,  _ Frumpkin.” The two wandered back down the hallway.

“I like your coat,” Vesper said. “It’s Xhorhasian, right? Are you from around there?”

“No, I, ah… I was born near Rexxentrum. Moved to Zadash when I was 16,” Caleb replied, his stomach twisting unpleasantly as it always did.  _ Change the subject.  _ “The coat is a bit special for the event, but I do like it. Are you from Zadash as well?”

“I’ve lived here for a few years, but I was born in Whitestone, in Tal’Dorei,” Vesper said. “The rest of my family lives there; my mom and dad are on the city council, so, naturally, I went into photography.” She giggled. “I don’t think they expected me to follow in their footsteps much though; they were both… uh, hellions, I guess, when they were my age. Very much, like, activists and stuff; they spent a couple years road-tripping around the continent with some friends right before I was born.” She waved a hand. “Sorry, I’m totally dominating here. What’s your cat’s name?”

“ _ Nein, _ it is all right,” Caleb said. “His name is Frumpkin.”

“He’s sooo sweet!” she cooed. “Sorry, I know he’s working, I just love cats.”

“He is very friendly,” Caleb said, stopping and scooping up Frumpkin. “He would love to say hello, I’m sure.” He stepped forward slightly. “If you really want to be his friend,” he said, “His favorite spot is right behind his left ear.”

Vesper reached out and scratched Frumpkin where Caleb had suggested. A loud, rumbling purr immediately grew in Frumpkin’s throat and the cat nuzzled into Vesper’s hand.

“He likes you,” Caleb said. “Do you have any pets?”

“Not at the moment,” Vesper said. “But I really want one. My mom has this absolutely  _ massive _ dog- I swear he’s like, part bear or something- and I miss having a furry friend around.” She withdrew her hand. “Thanks for giving me a pet fix. Shall we?” She gestured on down the hall.

Caleb set Frumpkin down and the pair continued back toward the runway hall. True to what Vesper had thought, the activity had died down and they were able to walk around the stage and check out the space. Partway through they were joined by the last photographer, an elven man named Veren. Vesper pointed out where Caleb was assigned to stay, and Caleb took a couple minutes to pick out what he assumed would be the best angles. After several minutes someone came to shoo them out, telling them the hall would be opening to the public shortly, so they retreated to their room. As they passed the backstage door, it was in the process of swinging closed. Caleb caught a glimpse of a room full of beautiful people and stunning clothing. About half the models he could see were drow, but there were several tieflings, elvish folk, and humans. Caleb even spotted a couple half-orcs and a goblin before the door swung shut.

As the runway hall filled up, the hum of conversation reached even their room down the hall, and about half an hour passed before Zethris arrived to collect them once again.Caleb briefly shed his coat in order to clip on a camera harness and attached his camera before pulling the garment over his shoulders once more. He elected to leave Frumpkin in the photographers’ room with his dinner in a collapsible travel bowl, and the trio of photographers followed Zethris back into the runway hall. It was dimly lit now, with white lights glowing gently at the sides of the stage.

Vesper passed Caleb a little plastic bag with a pair of disposable earplugs. “It’s gonna get loud,” she whispered. Caleb could see the neon foam already in her ears and quickly pressed the pair she’d given him into his own ears just as music started thumping from hidden speakers. The trio dispersed to their assigned areas, Vesper giving Caleb a gentle slug on the shoulder before heading off.

Caleb settled down near the end of the stage, aiming his camera once or twice to get a quick feel for lighting- and the first model appeared at the end of the runway. A tiefling, with bright red skin and tall gazelle’s horns poking through dark red hair, strutted smoothly down the catwalk, yellow sclera eyes fixed out over the heads of the crowd. They wore a navy silk suit, but the back and sides of the jacket’s hem elongated into a train that rippled behind them as they walked.

Caleb raised his camera, and  _ click- _

His nerves slipped away. This was what he loved doing, and he was damn good at it. 

_ Click click. _

He paused briefly, checking the lighting on the first couple pictures, but he wasn’t worried. The lights in the room were perfectly aimed to illuminate the models. He raised his camera again.

_ Click click click. _

A shot just as the tiefling turned, catching the way the train billowed out.

_ Click click. _

The tiefling headed back up the catwalk as the next model appeared around at the end. This time an elf wearing a black dress, the multi-paneled skirt resembling the petals of a flower. Her long, dark hair hung loose in gentle waves around her face as she walked.

_ Click click click. _

And so became the pattern- model out, photograph, catch the next model as they came out. Caleb was not quite as knowledgeable about fashion as Molly or Jester, but even he could appreciate the insane amount of work that must have gone into each outfit. He saw several things that he wasn’t even aware could be done with fabric. 

He was no stranger to extraordinary clothes, of course- he’d seen plenty of Jester’s lolita fashion and the cosplays that Molly put together- but these were something else entirely. He did catch several geometric patterns reminiscent of his own clothing and was once again glad he’d let Jester and Molly dress him up.

Through his earplugs, Caleb heard a muffled voice over the speakers.

_ “Please welcome now to the runway Essek Thelyss of House Thelyss!”  _ The crowd roared as Caleb held up his camera again.

Caleb had a near-eidetic memory, which was both a blessing and a curse at times. If he took the time to study a face, it was hard for him to forget it. He still remembered the elf behind the counter at the bakery in Blumenthal who gave him the “damaged” cookies to share with his friends when he was barely four years old.

But even without the steel-trap memory, it would be hard not to recognize the  _ very attractive drow _ from The Wild Kiln as he emerged onto the runway.

Essek was now sitting in a low-backed wheelchair that had been modified to almost resemble a throne. He had changed out of the dress shirt and was now wearing a high-collared tunic under a flowing mantle with a silvery filigree clasp. The cloak rippled gently behind his chair as he wheeled himself sedately down the runway, the same slightly haughty expression on his face that all the other models had worn. As he reached the end of the runway, he happened to glance down for just a moment- the same moment that Caleb lowered his camera slightly.

Essek and Caleb locked eyes for just a split second. In that moment, the haughty expression flickered slightly. One eyebrow twitched in a barely-noticeable raise, and the hint of a smile played at one corner of his mouth.

Then the “model face” was back, and Essek was turning with a casual spin of his wheels to head back down the runway. Caleb brought his camera back up, taking photos almost on autopilot. 

If you asked Caleb what happened during the rest of the show, he wouldn’t have been able to tell you, which was a first. Leylas Kryn herself was the last model to walk, wearing a gown that seemed to be composed entirely of chiffon and gemstones, but although Caleb was looking through his camera’s viewfinder, he wasn’t really seeing anything, because  _ gods above, _ he was smitten with  _ Essek Thelyss. _

In a way, he supposed he was lucky. Essek was a celebrity. He seemed far off, unattainable, just another beautiful person to have a crush on.

_ But he buys coffee at The Wild Kiln, _ a voice in Caleb’s head said.  _ He wasn’t too far off when you almost ran into him today. _

_ So what? _ the logical part of his brain said.  _ It’s just a crush. It’s just one event. _

Somehow Caleb came to the end of the show with quality photos of all the models that had come after Essek. The lights came up in the room and the crowd, all talking excitedly, began to disperse. There was some kind of reception afterwards for all the attendees that many of the models would be at, allowing a closeup look at the outfits. From what Caleb understood, that was standard procedure for KMA shows, if not for other industry shows.

Caleb, Vesper, and Veren made their way out of the runway hall and back to their greenroom. “That was some of Leylas’ best work  _ yet!” _ Vesper gushed as she pushed open the door. Frumpkin, who had been napping on a chair, raised his head and mewled at Caleb as the three came inside and began packing up their equipment. The photos would all be sent to Zethris (and by extension Leylas Kryn) and the ones KMA wanted to use would be sent back to the photographers for editing.

Vesper came over to Caleb. “I was wondering if I could give you my number?” she began. Then seeming to realize various implications of her statement, she went slightly wide-eyed and waved her hands. “Not…  _ like that _ . No. You’re too old for me. No offense. Also, you’re… you know, not my type. Sorry, I’m rambling again. I just mean like, in a friendly professional way. I need more photographer friends and people to learn from. Also maybe I could come see your cat sometimes?” The last sentence was quickly mumbled before she looked up at Caleb hopefully. “If it’s weird, don’t worry about it, I totally understand.”

Caleb took a moment to process the metaphorical word vomit before laughing gently. “Of course,” he said. “Here-” he took his phone out of his pocket and opened up the contacts before handing it over to Vesper. She typed quickly for a moment before handing it back to him.

Caleb pressed the “send message” button under her name.

_ Caleb Widogast 7:47 pm _

_ Hallo, this is Caleb Widogast. _

_ Vesper [camera emoji] [peace sign emoji] 7:47 pm _

_ thanks caleb!!  _

Vesper grinned at Caleb and Veren. “It was really great to meet you!” she said. “All three of you,” she added, turning and booping Frumpkin’s nose. “Are you staying for the reception?” The question was directed at Caleb.

_ No, because Essek will probably be there and I might just implode if I have to interact with him,  _ Caleb thought. “Ah, probably not. I am not really one for parties with lots of people,” he said.

“You should at least stop and try the food,” Vesper said. “It’s supposed to be  _ really _ good.”

“Is the KMA party food really so well-known?” Caleb asked with a laugh. “My friend Molly said I should try and get pictures of the hors d'oeuvres for them. I suppose if that is where they are...”

“Well, then you’ve  _ got _ to go,” Vesper said in mock seriousness. She grinned at him. “It’ll be fine, don’t worry! It’s just the models and stuff; it’ll be chill.”

“All right, you’ve convinced me,” Caleb said with a smile. He placed his packed camera bag on the table. “Do they plan on beginning right away?”

Vesper nodded. “I think they started setting up for it as soon as the crowds cleared out, so it should be pretty soon.” She went to the door and poked her head out into the hallway for a moment before retreating back into the room. “They’re still carrying stuff around in the hallway so it might be a few minutes. I’m going to go find a bathroom; do you know where the closest one is?” 

Caleb shook his head. “I was shown straight here from the hall when I arrived; I did not see much of the building. I think there may be one back closer to the main entrance, or further down this hall, but I am not sure. I, ah- I will actually join you in the search, I need to use the restroom as well.” 

Several minutes and a maze of hallways that would have swallowed them if not for Caleb’s memory, the two had found a restroom and were headed back to the hall. They could hear gentle music playing as they got close and Vesper looked at Caleb excitedly.

“I think it’s started!” she said, taking his sleeve gently and tugging him along. Frumpkin mewed from his perch on Caleb’s shoulder, shifting to look around Caleb’s cheek.

Vesper pulled open the door leading back into the hall, revealing the same room now ringed with tables and chairs. The lights were slightly dimmed and instrumental Xhorhasian music was playing over hidden speakers. One section of a wall was lined with tables of food. Vesper elbowed Caleb gently and nodded at the food, grinning at him. 

“I see it, I see it,” Caleb chided. He looked around the rest of the room. Many of the models from the show were seated in the chairs or mingling with one another. 

“Oh, there’s Valor!” Vesper said excitedly, looking at the red tiefling that had modeled the navy suit. “I’ve talked with them a couple times at other events; I’m gonna go say hi!” She darted away across the room, leaving Caleb standing alone.

He took a breath. It was not as crowded as he had pictured, but he still felt self-conscious and awkward standing there by himself. 

_ Well, at the very least, you can get pictures of the food for Molly, _ he thought, making his way over. 

The food smelled amazing as he drew closer. Some of it was familiar- it looked a little like the takeout he sometimes got from the Xhorhasian place near his studio, and he guessed this was Xhorhasian fare as well. He pulled out his phone, taking pictures of several of the platters before his stomach growled rather unexpectedly. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was but it was past eight at this point and he’d eaten lunch shortly after noon, with only the blueberry muffin at The Wild Kiln in between.

He took a plate and began picking out appetizers when a slight shadow fell across the table.

“You know, I never did learn the name of that handsome cat,” a smooth voice said. Caleb started slightly and turned around to find himself face-to-face — again — with Essek Thelyss. He was still sitting in the wheelchair, but the throne decorations had been removed to reveal a dark blue frame. “It appears I’ve startled you once again,” he lamented, though not without a twinkle in his eye. “Perhaps I should find myself some sort of little bell to wear.”

“I- ah- no, it’s fine,” Caleb stammered. “I mean, it is not your fault. I am just, uh, easily startled.” He reached up and ran a couple fingers under Frumpkin’s chin. “This is Frumpkin.”

“Well, that does make me feel marginally better,” Essek said. “That it’s not all my fault. Hand me a plate?” Caleb did as Essek had asked and stepped slightly to the side to let Essek closer to the table.

“Your coat is beautiful,” Essek said. “I don’t usually see our photographers in Xhorhasian wear.”

“Thank you,” Caleb said quietly. “I must confess, though, that it was my friends who picked it out, once they heard that I was going to be here tonight. I am not usually so... fashion-conscious.”

Essek had piled several appetizers on his plate. “Well, tell your friends they have good taste.”

“I will,” Caleb said. He chuckled. “Frankly, they are very aware of that already, but I think they will be quite eager to hear that you think so as well.”

“I’m glad.” Essek set the plate on his lap and backed up slightly from the table. “So you must be Leylas’ emergency contact, hm?”

“I- yes, I was assisting one of her shoots several years ago,” Caleb said, clutching his plate a little awkwardly. “She… she was pleased with my work.”

“Mm,” Essek mused. “You look a little uncomfortable standing there. Why don’t we find a table and you can tell me more?”


	5. Chapter 5

**|Saturday 2 Quen’pillar|**

The morning after the runway show, Caleb was still trying to process the events of the previous night. He and Essek had ended up talking for over half an hour- Essek had revealed that while modeling was his current line of work, he’d been a photographer for several years as well. Caleb had told him how he hadn’t even gone into college intending to study photography but had taken a class as an elective and enjoyed it so much he’d ended up changing his major.

_ “I had been majoring in Sylvan studies,”  _ Caleb had said. _ “And then my photography professor told me he’d shown one of my pictures to someone and they’d offered to buy it. Six hundred dollars, they offered. And I realized that I liked photography, and I was pretty good at it, so the money went toward my first really nice camera.” _

Essek had eventually been pulled away to chat with a few other people, but he seemed to have been genuinely enjoying the conversation.

At least, that was what Caleb was fervently hoping. Maybe he’d just been being polite.

Caleb had run into Leylas Kryn herself at one point as he’d been making his way towards the door and spent another few minutes talking to her. She’d planted a kiss on his cheek and expressed her thanks for him being there before getting pulled away as well. 

He had caught a couple glimpses of Vesper throughout the time he was there, but at some point she- and the tiefling, Valor- had disappeared before he’d gotten to say good-bye.

Now he was laying in bed with the gentle morning sunlight seeping through his curtains, staring at the ceiling as he reflected on the night.

Had his crush on Essek been plainly obvious during their conversation? Perhaps Essek thought that he was just an excited fan. He must deal with those all the time, right? People fawning over him, thrilled to just be in the same room as him.

Caleb sighed, a big one that made Frumpkin, sleeping on his belly, raise his head and blink sleepily.

“Sorry,  _ Katze _ ,” he murmured, scratching Frumpkin’s head absently. “Did you like Essek? He seemed to like you.”

Once the pair had gotten settled at a table, Caleb had let Frumpkin wander onto the table and over to Essek, who had seemed positively  _ delighted _ to let the cat jump down onto his lap. It had been very amusing to watch Essek drop the image of a cool, collected, powerful man and coo at the cat, tapping his nose and paws and scratching him behind the ears.

Caleb had picked up on something interesting- Frumpkin had settled down onto Essek’s lap and almost immediately launched into some of the loudest purring Caleb had ever heard Frumpkin do with someone other than himself. He hadn’t asked Essek about it, but he figured that Essek had some sort of chronic pain- hence the cane and wheelchair- and he wondered if Frumpkin could sense it somehow.

“Because you are very smart, aren’t you, Frumpkin?” Caleb said, rubbing the cat’s soft ears. “The smartest kitty in the whole world."

As if in response, Frumpkin began making kitty biscuits on Caleb’s faded Zadash University shirt.

Several minutes later, Caleb was gently lifting Frumpkin off of him (and Frumpkin was trying his best to stay where he was) to go eat breakfast. 

And with that simple act of normalcy, the excitement of the previous night faded slightly into the background of Caleb’s mind. It was time to get back on his schedule- he had some photos to edit for other clients and was expecting the email with the runway show’s photos as well later that day, to be edited within the week.

And that was what he did. Caleb settled into his regular schedule- he only had one shoot that week, which was a relief with all the editing he had to do.

Everything was normal, everything was routine- until a week later, when Caleb was doing the last edits on the KMA show’s photos and an email popped up in his work inbox. He caught a glimpse of the  _ krynmodelingagency _ domain on his phone screen before he opened it and assumed it was Zethris checking in on the status of the pictures- but it wasn’t.

_ From: e.thelyss@krynmodelingagency.com _

_ To: calebwidogast@widogastphotography.com _

_ Subject: Business proposition _

_ Dear Mr. Widogast, _

_ This is Essek Thelyss. We spoke for a while at the show the other night. I asked Leylas for your contact information as I was hoping to set up a photoshoot with you in the next couple weeks. I understand it is rather short notice and if your schedule is full I would not even consider demanding you boot anyone out- I’m not quite that much of a diva- but I caught some of the unedited photos you took at the event and I’m blown away; even before the edits. I can see why Leylas brought you in; you have raw talent and truly refined skill.  _

_ I’ve had an idea for a photoshoot of a more… sensitive nature for some time and have had some trouble finding the right photographer to do the idea justice and I think you might be the one. If you’ve got any availability in the next month or so, please let me know. _

_ Regards, _

_ Essek _

Caleb stared at the screen of his phone. He read the email again, and a third time.

_ I think you might be the one. _

Cale knew that the phrase meant “You’re the right photographer for this,” but he couldn’t stop his heart from jumping slightly when he read it.

He’d never had a crush of this size before, and it was driving him  _ crazy. _ Growing up, he’d been smitten with Astrid and Eodwulf in turn, but it had never gone beyond puppy love. Of course there were celebrities he’d crushed on, but those were distant, unattainable, and thus, manageable.

And then he had run into  _ Essek Thelyss _ , of all people, without knowing it, and had fallen for him, and it would’ve been fine, because he was just another celebrity, and then he’d had a godsdamned  _ conversation _ with him and  _ both of them had enjoyed it. _

Hopefully.

Caleb let his head thud down on the desk with a groan before picking up his phone again.

_ From: calebwidogast@widogastphotography.com _

_ To: e.thelyss@krynmodelingagency.com _

_ Re: Business proposition _

_ Herr Thelyss, _

_ I would be honored to work with you on a photoshoot.  _

Caleb stared at the line. Did that sound too overeager? He erased and tried again.

_ I would be delighted _

No, that wasn’t right either. How ironic that he, who could usually pull together the right words for any conversation in four different languages, was struggling to say  _ yes. _

_ I would be more than happy to work with you on a photoshoot. _

That… would do.

_ I have availability towards the end of the month. Would the 25th work for you, at 4 pm? If yes, I can send you my standard contract and I would love to hear more about what you had in mind for this shoot. _

_ Best,  _

_ Caleb _

Caleb sent the email. 

And a few minutes later, there was a reply.

And a few minutes after that,  _ Essek Thelyss shoot _ was in his calendar.

\-------

The weeks leading up to it passed surprisingly quickly for the amount of anticipation Caleb felt. He and Essek exchanged a few more emails regarding the nature of the shoot and what Essek wanted to accomplish with it- thankfully it hadn’t been a nude shoot like Caleb had initially jumped to when Essek had mentioned the “sensitive nature” of it.

(Not because Caleb was unwilling to shoot tasteful nudity, but because he didn’t think he could physically, mentally, or emotionally handle being in the same room with a nude Essek Thelyss.)

Essek had been wanting to do something a little more simple involving his mobility devices.  _ They’re often with me when I model, _ he’d written,  _ but it’s never about them. I have never been shy about hiding my disability and I want to normalize having mobility aids in professional photos without my chair being modified to look fancy or special. _

He wanted to do a shoot that highlighted them without making a big deal about them. Caleb was surprised that he hadn’t done anything like it before, but after looking through some of Essek’s pictures in magazines, he realized that it was true. If Essek was sitting in his chair in a photo, it was always made to look like something, or decked in gemstones or something else extravagant. 

  
  


**|Saturday 23 Quen’pillar|**

The day of the shoot, Caleb packed up his bag and headed down to his car. They’d be using his own studio today- per Essek’s polite request, citing that he would rather shoot in a more private space, rather than the KMA studios, and Caleb wasn’t about to refuse. Essek was paying him handsomely for the shoot- more than Caleb had originally mentioned in the contract. In fact, it would have been more, but Caleb had insisted on negotiating the price down a ways. He would’ve felt uncomfortable charging that much for a standard shoot, even to someone like Essek. 

Caleb’s studio was in a low brick building along with a dentist’s office, a small law firm, and a dance studio. When Caleb pulled into the parking lot, there was already a sleek gunmetal gray car in the lot and Essek was sitting in his low-backed navy wheelchair next to it, typing something on his phone. A cane was folded across his lap- a much simpler collapsible black one than the one he’d had at the coffee shop. He looked up when Caleb pulled into one of the nearby spots.

“I hope I have not kept you waiting too long,” Caleb apologized as he climbed out of the car, slinging his bag over one shoulder and allowing Frumpkin to climb up on the other. 

Essek waved a slim-fingered hand. “I’ve only been here a few minutes. I’m afraid I have a habit of being chronically early.” He smiled at Caleb. “It’s good to see you again. I’m excited for this shoot.”

“Ah- it’s good to see you, as well,” Caleb said, taking a moment to take in Essek’s appearance. His hair was still styled swept back from his forehead, but he was dressed so casually it seemed almost foreign to Caleb, having only seen him in beautiful, elegant clothing. Today he wore an open gray peacoat over a plain heathered gray tee, black jeans, and a pair of brown oxfords. On his hands were a pair of sleek black fingerless gloves. The shirt and pants were fitted but not overly tight, and Caleb had to stop himself from staring too long. 

This wasn’t helping his crush, because now Essek  _ looked _ far more approachable, even if Caleb hadn’t known that his personality was much softer than it seemed. 

Esseks gaze flicked to Frumpkin and he smiled up at the cat. “And good afternoon to you, Mr. Frumpkin,” he said. Frumpkin made a “ _ mrrp?”  _ sound in response and leaned forward on Caleb’s shoulder, his tiny pink nose twitching slightly.

“Do you need anything before we begin, or- shall we?” Caleb asked, gesturing toward the building.

“I’m ready if you are,” Essek said, wheeling himself toward the short ramp up onto the sidewalk.

Caleb followed him up and unlocked the door, holding it open as Essek passed through. 

“I appreciate that you didn’t immediately try and push the chair,” Essek commented as they entered the small lobby. “You wouldn’t believe how many people still think I need help with that.”

“I would assume that you are quite self-sufficient and you would ask if you needed help,” Caleb replied, unlocking the tiny utility closet and flipping a few of the master power switches. He glanced over at Essek. “Also, it would’ve been difficult seeing as you have no handles on the chair.” 

Essek laughed. “Very true, but you wouldn’t  _ believe _ the efforts some people will go to in order to ‘help.’ I’ve had people attempt to just put their hands on the back and push that way.” He thought for a moment and chuckled again. “I went through a well-timed punk phase when I was younger where I put spikes on the handles of one of my older chairs.” 

“I can honestly say I cannot imagine you as a punk,” Caleb said, opening the door to the studio proper.

“Ah, well, I was a rebellious trans teenager trying to take any form of self-expression I could get,” Essek said, rolling into the studio and looking around. “This is a beautiful space! How long have you been in the photography business?”

“Over eight years,” Caleb said. “Professionally, with my own studio, at least. I did some while I was in college- internships and the like.” He set his bag down and walked over to the cat tree, letting Frumpkin jump to the top platform. 

Essek was slowly rolling around the studio, looking at Caleb’s props and lighting. He pointed at the bed in the corner. “Had a few late nights?” he said with a twinkle in his eye. 

Caleb blushed. “I- no, I had a boudoir shoot a month ago. The client paid extra for me to acquire it. It looks nice but it was very cheap. It does mean I can do more boudoir shoots, if it becomes an opportunity, and now I have it as a prop in case I need it for anything else. It just does not quite fit in the prop closet.” He pointed across the room to another door.

Essek laughed. It was a nice sound, and Caleb liked hearing it. It was surprisingly bubbly, considering the person it came from, and echoed gently in the studio.

Caleb had set up a simple off-white backdrop with soft lighting as Essek had requested. He began setting up his camera as Essek wheeled himself to the center of the set and looked around. 

“May I just say I’m quite impressed by the lighting setup? Drow skin can be… difficult to correctly photograph, to say the least, and many photographers just don’t quite get it. Is that something you’ve picked up or was that taught to you?”

“My professor in college was very attentive to that sort of thing,” Caleb said. “He devoted an entire semester further along in the program to different skin tones, especially non-human ones. It’s come in quite handy, I must say- two of my friends that I do pictures for are tieflings. One is blue and one is purple.”

Essek chuckled. “Then you certainly have had quite a range of experience so far. Who did you study under, if I may ask?”

Caleb unfolded a tripod. “Pumat Sol,” he replied. “He was-”

“ _ The _ Pumat Sol?” Essek interrupted. “Seven-time Wildemount Photography Awards winner Pumat Sol?” When Caleb nodded, Essek shook his head a couple times. “I’ve worked with him a few times, but you were lucky enough to train under him? That’s fantastic. No wonder Leylas loves your photo so much.” He glanced over at Caleb. “Did you know that it’s on her desk? The photo you took a few years back? She told me the story after she reached out to you for the runway event. I’ve loved that photo for  _ years _ .”

Caleb blushed again. “I, ah, I did not know that she still thought so highly of the photo.”

Essek nodded. “It was one of her first photoshoots.” He flashed a brilliant smile at Caleb. “I’ve got high hopes for this, today.”

“I certainly hope I can deliver,” Caleb said. “I would assume you have some ideas in mind for what you want to do? I can supply some but I figured that this is a more personal shoot for you and I wouldn’t want to overstep any boundaries.” 

Essek nodded. “I appreciate it,” he said gently. “I do have some ideas, as it happens. This has been something I’ve wanted to do for a while.”

Caleb held up his camera. “Then take the lead,  _ Herr _ Thelyss.”

Essek smiled, and- was that a faint purpling of his cheeks? “Please, call me Essek,” he said.

\-------

Later that evening, Essek sat in his office at KMA, looking through the unedited photos Caleb had just sent him. There was a quick tap on his door before it opened slightly to reveal Leylas in the doorway.

“Can I- oh, are those the photos from your shoot with Mr. Widogast today?” she asked, stepping in. “Can I take a look?” 

Essek scooted his chair to the side. “Be my guest. He really is very talented, is he not?”

Leylas pulled a chair over. Essek had stopped on a picture of himself sitting on the floor next to his wheelchair, one knee bent up as he looked off to the side. The image was framed so that the eye was drawn as much to the chair as it was to Essek himself, and he adored it.

“He is,” Leylas agreed. She shot him a sideways glance as she clicked through the pictures. “Why did you choose him over other photographers we’ve worked with time and again?” she asked suddenly.

Essek started slightly. “What do you mean?” He glanced over at the image on the computer. Again, he was seated on the floor, cross-legged, one arm resting on the grip of his cane as he gazed off-camera under the raised arm.

“I mean,  _ I  _ had a good experience with him, and he did a phenomenal job at the runway show, but you chose someone we’ve only had two interactions with over our tried-and-true photographers; and to do a deeply personal shoot nonetheless.”

“I- I just thought he might have a little more finesse in that area,” Essek said. “I think- I don’t want to make assumptions, but I believe he’s disabled too; I don’t know the specifics but he’s got his cat around all the time. And he studied under  _ Pumat Sol,  _ and he’s very knowledgeable about a myriad of different techniques that some of our usual photographers don’t even know. He’s quite a conversationalist; we talked for longer than I realized at the show.”

Leylas didn’t say anything for a moment as she browsed through a couple more of the photos There was a strange faint expression on her face that if Essek didn’t know better, he would’ve called mischievous- but he knew Leylas, and Leylas didn’t do mischief. “Why don’t you invite him to the holiday party at my house next month?” she said casually. 

“Well- I mean, that’s usually KMA personnel only-” Essek began.

“Oh, he’s quite earned a place, I’d say,” Leylas said. “I’ll invite him if you aren’t going to.” She pulled out her phone. 

“No- I will,” Essek stammered. “I, er, we exchanged numbers at the end of the shoot.” Leylas raised an eyebrow. “So that I didn’t have to go digging through our contacts if I wanted to utilize his services again!” he protested.

Leylas replaced her phone in her pocket. “Good,” she said. She rose from her chair. “We should put a couple of those in one of the next magazine issues,” she said, pointing to the computer screen. She made for the door and then paused. “I think having Mr. Widogast at the party will be good for both of you.”

Essek stared at his computer for a moment. “Wait, why?” he asked, somewhat belatedly.

But Leylas was already gone.

\-------

_ Essek Thelyss 10:17 pm  _

_ Hello, Caleb, this is Essek. I was wondering if perhaps you’d be interested in attending Leylas’ holiday party in a couple weeks? She suggested extending an invitation to you after the work you’ve done for us over the past month. The party is on the 14th of Cuersar. _

Essek stared at the message in the text box, the little cursor blinking gently at the end. Why was Leylas so keen on getting Caleb to the party?

It wasn’t that Essek  _ didn’t _ want Caleb there. He had enjoyed the time he’d spent with Caleb so far, and it would be nice to do so outside of a professional setting. And Leylas had been right; Caleb had more than earned an invitation.

So why was he hesitant to send the message?

He shook his head, and pressed his thumb to the little arrow before he could change his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pleased at the response this has been getting! I love and live on comments so don't hesitate to let me know what you think, even if it's just keysmashing bc that's valid


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been one of my favorite chapters to write so far; I hope y'all enjoy it!

**|Sunday 24 Quen’pillar|**

_Caleb Widogast 9:32 am_

_Hallo Essek. I am flattered that an invitation has been extended to me, but_

Caleb stopped typing. Was he really about to decline? He’d never been one for parties, especially ones where he was surrounded by people he didn’t know, and he guessed this would be no exception. He didn’t go to clubs for the same reason- being surrounded by a mass of people always had him on too on edge to enjoy himself.

On the other hand, this wasn’t a club. And perhaps he’d have another chance to talk to Essek, or maybe Vesper would be there as well.

And of course, if Jester and Molly found out that he’d declined that invitation, he’d _never_ hear the end of it.

He erased the last word of his half-composed text.

_and I’d be happy to attend. Could you send me the address and time of the party? And is there a dress code?_

Caleb set his phone down and went to take a shower. When he got back, another message was waiting for him.

_Essek Thelyss 9:46 am_

_Leylas will be delighted to hear it. The party is at 8:30pm, 442 Bastion Road. I wouldn’t say there’s a specific dress code, but I’d perhaps wear that Xhorhasian coat again with a dress shirt._

A small part of Caleb felt a pang of… something. _Leylas will be delighted._ So Essek didn’t seem to mind one way or another whether he was there. 

_Don’t jump to conclusions,_ he told himself. _Leylas probably just had him text you; she’s the one that really cares about the guest list. Just because he didn’t say doesn’t mean anything._

Caleb groaned, flopping down in his chair.

Why did it have to be _Essek?_

\-------

**|Saturday 14 Cuersar|**

“Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“Are you feeling okay-Cay?” One of Nott’s little mom jokes.

Caleb was in Nott’s living room, slouched slightly in the one chair that wasn’t sized for a halfling. Nott was on the couch opposite, a mug of coffee clasped in her hands. She was looking at him with concern in her warm brown eyes.

“I am feeling fine; you know I just do not like parties, Nott. I am just worried about feeling out of place. I will only know two, maybe three people, and I can hardly expect them to stay in conversation with _me_ the whole time when they will have many others to talk to.”

Nott slid off the couch and came over to Caleb’s chair. The arm was the perfect height for her to rest her arms on, which she did, propping her chin on one hand. “Well, you don’t need to stay for the whole time. Let’s weigh the pros and cons. You could always text Essek or Leylas Kryn and tell them that something came up and you can’t go, but I really do think they’d be disappointed. I think that they want you to be there, and I think _you_ want to be there, if only to see Essek.”

Caleb flushed and began to protest, but Nott waved her hand. “I’m a mom, Cay-Cay, I know these things. The way you’ve talked about Essek makes it pretty obvious-”

Caleb buried his face in his hands and groaned. Nott kept talking. 

“-and it’s sweet, Caleb! I just want you to be happy. If that means you _don’t_ go to the party, that’s fine, but I think you’re going to be more unhappy about not taking the chance to spend time with Essek.”

Caleb sighed. Nott was right. If he didn’t go to the party, he would be mad at himself for not jumping at the opportunity. And it was true that he didn’t have to stay; he could go and mingle for a bit and then duck out. “All right,” he said with a slight smile. “You’ve convinced me.” 

Nott stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “If you need a fast exit just text me; I can fake an emergency phone call for you.”

Caleb laughed. “I do not think that will be necessary,” he said. “But thank you, Nott. Now, ah…” He glanced around. “Where did Luc spirit Frumpkin away to?”

Nott chuckled. “I’ll go find him.” She hurried off, returning a minute later with Frumpkin in her arms. “Looks like Luc fell asleep cuddling him,” she said. “It’s close to his naptime; I’m not surprised.” She returned Frumpkin to Caleb. “But seriously, if you aren’t feeling comfortable at the party, let me know, okay?”

“You cannot help but ‘mom’ me, can you?” Caleb asked with a laugh as he shrugged on his coat. 

Nott slapped his hip gently. “You’re my boy,” she said. “I care about you.”

Caleb buckled Frumpkin into his harness and let him climb up to his shoulder before stooping to hug his friend. “Thank you, _kleiner Freund_ ,” he said. 

“Anytime,” she said before releasing him. “Now go have fun at your party tonight. Make good choices.”

“Yes, _Mutter_ ,” he said. “Say hello to Yeza for me?” 

“Will do,” Nott said as Caleb opened the door, stepping out into the chilly air.

The winter was fast approaching, and while they hadn’t gotten any snow yet, the temperatures had been lower each week. Caleb would have to start taking his car places with Frumpkin soon enough; once it was too cold for him to be outside for very long. He had a little coat that he could wear, but Caleb didn’t want to risk his cat’s safety.

For now, though, he would savor these last few walks outside. The Brenatto household was only a few blocks from his apartment so it was just about ten minutes before he was home once more. On the way through the lobby, he stopped and checked his mailbox. Inside was a manila envelope with the KMA logo stamped in the corner. He tore it open as he walked back to his apartment to find a copy of the latest issue of _Wildemount Today_ \- with a familiar face on the cover. Essek’s purple eyes gazed out at him and a pink post-it note stuck out the top with _Caleb!_ written on it. Caleb stopped outside his apartment and slipped his fingers between the pages to open it to the post-it.

The photos he’d taken with Essek were on display. He skimmed the accompanying article- mostly a longer version of why Essek had wanted to do the shoot. At the bottom of the third page of the spread was a smaller blurb with his name in it- his photographer’s profile, accompanied by the headshot Leylas had asked him to send in. 

Caleb couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across his face. His name was in a major magazine. His work would be seen by hundreds of thousands of people. He glanced over the photos of Essek again- they really had turned out wonderfully. He knew some people who didn’t like to look at their photos once the final edits had been sent off, but he always liked to see his photos again with fresh eyes once they were published.

Caleb unlocked his apartment and set the magazine down on the small table just inside the door, letting Frumpkin jump down as well. As he set the envelope down, he felt something else inside and pulled put a small square card of thick cardstock. The card was an eggshell white, edged in shimmery blue-gray, and the same color looped across the card in elegant script.

_You are cordially invited to the house of_

_Leylas Kryn_

_For a celebration of the winter season_

_442 Bastion Road_

_8:30 pm, 14 Cuersar_

_Please retain this card for entrance to the party._

Frumpkin trotted over to his water bowl and took a drink before meowing at Caleb. “Yes, we have a bit of time to kill,” Caleb said. “Should we watch a movie?” Frumpkin mewed again and wandered over to butt at Caleb’s calf. “I will take that as a yes,” Caleb said, moving over to the couch.

\-------

Bastion Road was in an extremely wealthy neighborhood of Zadash, one that Caleb had never found himself in before. His little black hatchback felt out of place among the expensive cars parked in front of the beautiful houses and not for the first time he wondered what he’d done to get this lot in life thrown into his lap.

It would’ve been easy to tell which house belonged to Leylas Kryn, even if he hadn’t known the address. Floodlights lit the wide driveway that curved up to the house and all the way back down to the road in a semicircle. The lawn on the inside of the driveway displayed a dodecahedron, just like what had topped Essek’s cane in the coffee shop- only this one was easily as tall as Caleb, made from opaque glass and softly lit from within.

The house itself was not very big- two stories, not much bigger than many of the middle-class houses in Zadash- but it was elegant, modern and beautiful.

Caleb parked at the end of the line of cars along the driveway and began the walk up to the house. The faint sounds of music and conversation drifted over to him- both calm, not wild or heavy. Good. The sleeve of his coat found its way between his fingers and he worried the fabric as he approached the front door.

An elven doorman stood by the front door, hands clasped behind his back. “Invitation, please,” he said as Caleb approached. Caleb pulled the little white card out of his coat pocket and handed it over to the doorman, who inspected it and then handed it back with a smile. “Welcome to the party,” he said, reaching over and pushing the door open for Caleb. Caleb gave him a polite nod and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

The inside of the house was just as elegant as the outside, but the way it was furnished felt like the inside of a cozy family home, not a mansion. The furniture all matched, and the rugs and drapes were tastefully coordinated, but there were bright colors; beautiful vases; gorgeous, personal artwork. The house felt lived in and homey- not at all what Caleb had expected. 

And of course, it was decorated for the festivities. Garlands and baubles and streamers in blues and silvers and whites hung from the ceiling and the walls. Music was playing gently over hidden speakers. There were a few people milling about inside, engaged in quiet conversation, but the party seemed to be pretty empty, considering it was almost nine o’clock. 

A drow woman had glanced over when Caleb had come in, and, noticing him glancing around, gestured further into the house. “Most of the attendees are out in the back!” she said helpfully. “Head through there, into the kitchen and then to the right. There’s a door into the back garden.”

_“Danke,”_ he murmured, nodding at a couple of other people milling around as he headed into the house. 

After following the directions of the drow woman, he emerged from the kitchen into a screened porch that exited into a vast garden. Wide paths snaked between low trees and shrubs. Splashes of color among then indicated plants that were somehow still flowering at this time of year. Tree boughs hung over some of the paths, giving the whole area a cozy covered feel. Wooden and stone pergolas curved over the paths and benches sat at intervals along them. Lanterns hung from posts and sat within the plant beds, casting a gentle golden light over the area. The trees made it hard to tell how big it was, but Caleb guessed at least over an acre.

At least forty or fifty people were out in the garden, strolling along the paths or chatting in pairs and trios on the benches. Caleb recognized several of them from the show, but no one he knew. He hovered in the doorway uncertainly, picking at his coat cuff, unsure how to proceed. Frumpkin, draped over his shoulder, butted gently at his chin. Caleb reached a hand up absently and scratched Frumpkin’s head.

“Who would have guessed?” he murmured. “One little photoshoot years ago would lead to all this?” He opened the porch door and stepped into the garden, fastening his coat against the mild chill in the air. He could smell the sweet, gentle aroma of the flowers and inhaled slightly. It must be nice to have a place like this to escape to when the pressures of life got to be too much, although Caleb couldn’t imagine living in this much luxury. He was very happy in his apartment with Frumpkin; he wouldn’t know what to do with this much space. 

“Caleb!” A call shook him from his reverie and he turned to find Essek making his way along one of the paths toward him in his wheelchair. The drow wore a black peacoat and a bright smile. “I was hoping you’d be able to make it!” He looked Caleb up and down, taking in Caleb’s clothes. “Good choice,” he said with a small wink.

Caleb smiled back at Essek. “I, ah… I was unsure whether I’d come. I am not one for large parties,” he said, somewhat apologetically, tugging at one of his sleeves.

“Rest assured that Leylas’ parties are pretty tame in comparison to some others that are thrown in this area,” Essek said. “Plenty of space to spread out and get some air if you need it.” He rolled a few inches closer to Caleb. “Can I show you around a bit? Need any refreshments?”

“Ah- _nein_ , no, I’m fine,” Caleb stammered. “But I would like to see more of the garden.” 

Essek turned himself around with a quick spin of his wheels. “Right this way,” he said, starting off at an easy pace down the path. “Many of the plants here are from Xhorhas; they’re used to the harsher climates so they tend to last longer throughout the year. Leylas was born there, you know, in Rosohna, but she moved to Zadash several years ago and started the agency.”

“And… yourself?” Caleb asked. “Are you a Zadash native as well?”

Essek shook his head. “Not technically, but I’ve been here for most of my life,” he said. “I was born in Rosohna as well, but my parents moved us here when I was four so I could get better treatment at a bigger hospital. What about you?”

“I… I lived in a suburb of Rexxentrum for about sixteen years before I moved here,” Caleb said. His hands, tucked up inside his coat sleeves, clenched into fists; his nails digging into his palms. His heart was racing slightly. Frumpkin shifted on his shoulder, trying to stand up, and Caleb lifted him off of his neck. He could see the crescent-shaped marks he’d just created in the palms of his hands as he did. “Went to school at the university and have lived here ever since.” He could feel Frumpkin purring in his arms and kept his hands pressed to Frumpkin’s flanks. 

_If you are holding him, then you won’t be touching your arms._

“Does Miss Kryn throw these parties often?” he asked, changing the subject. 

Essek shook his head. “Two, three, maybe four times a year, usually. One at the beginning of the summer and one at the beginning of winter, plus one or two for other occasions- birthdays, marriage celebrations within the company, things like that.”

“Are there any traditions at the parties that I need to know about?” Caleb said, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

“Nothing that you’ll need to actively participate in,” Essek replied, a knowing smile on his face. “Nothing too silly. But-” he tugged back one sleeve to check a watch on his wrist. “They’re going to light the beacon soon! You don’t want to miss that; it’s quite a sight.” He gestured back towards the house. “It’ll be in the front yard. Shall we?” 

Caleb nodded. “Lead the way.”

The pair made their way back through the gardens, joining several others also making their way towards the house. Someone shouted Caleb’s name and he spotted Vesper walking up another path, waving at him with one hand; her other linked with the tiefling she’d met at the runway event. He waved back with a smile.

“You’ve met Miss de Rolo, I take it?” Essek said. “She’s been one of our photographers for a couple years now. Wonderful person to have around the studio.”

“Yes, we met at the runway event,” Caleb said. His heart had finally slowed back down a bit. He hated the way his body went into a panic so easily even all these years later.

Essek steered his chair through the back door and back into the house. “I will never be able to thank Leylas enough for refitting her house to properly accommodate wheelchairs.”

“Don’t all buildings have to comply with those standards anyways?” Caleb asked curiously. 

“Well, technically, yes, but many places don’t realize that “accommodation” doesn’t just mean wider doors. Leylas went the extra mile when she bought the house. _Plenty_ of extra width in doorways, halls, all doors have an automatic option, and there’s even an elevator. I spend enough time over here that it’s very much appreciated.”

“Ah. Are you two… involved, ah, romantically, then?” Caleb asked, blushing.

“Oh, no, not like that,” Essek said, laughing. “I just mean we’re close friends and coworkers and have been for quite some time. I… Leylas doesn’t really fall into the category of people I’m interested in.”

The elven doorman pushed the door open for them as they approached, and Essek nodded his thanks. The front lawn was darker now; the spotlights were off and the only light came from the house, the half-moon in the sky and the glowing dodecahedron down near the road. 

Most of the partygoers were arranged in a loose semicircle around something in the middle of the lawn. Caleb’s caught faint glimpses of his breath in the chill night air and he draped Frumpkin around his neck once more. There was a low hum of chatter as Caleb followed Essek around to an unobstructed spot, now able to see a large bowl-shaped object on a short pedestal. The bowl was large enough that Essek would’ve been able to park his chair in the middle and still have a couple feet before hitting the rim on either side. There didn’t appear to be anything in it, but it was dark and the height made it hard to see into it anyway.

“Essek,” he began. “What exactly is-”

Leylas Kryn stepped up to the bowl and turned to face the crowd. Her white hair shone in the faint moonlight. “My guests,” she said. “I’m glad to have you all here as we celebrate the coming of the winter season. Those who have been to my parties before- you know what’s about to happen, but for my first-time guests, I invite you to take part in one of my favorite little traditions.” She produced a stack of index cards. “If you have a regret from the last several months; a shoot that didn’t go as well as you’d hoped, an outfit that didn’t turn out quite right - it doesn't even have to be fashion-related - take a card and write it down.” She handed the stack of cards to the people at the edge of the crowd. “It’s important to acknowledge the things we are unhappy with, but it’s also important to let the past be in the past.” She picked up an oblong object from the base of the pedestal and reached in her pocket. “Once you’ve got something written, come on up and drop it in.” 

From her pocket, she pulled out a lighter and flicked it, setting fire to the other object- which turned out to be a torch.

Caleb’s mouth went dry. His body had already connected the dots, even if his brain was trying not to make the connection. 

Leylas tossed the torch into the bowl and stepped back as a bonfire erupted inside. 

Heat slapped Caleb in the face. His hands shook.

_-smoke rising in the distance-_

The crowd whooped as the flames leaped high into the air-

_-the sound of crackling flames audible even from a block away-_

-orange light glowing on the partygoers’ faces-

_-the roof collapsing in an explosion of sparks as he stared, horrified-_

“Caleb-”

_“-son, you can’t, it’s too dangerous-”_

“Caleb, what-”

_“-let me go,_ meine Mutter, mein Vader, _PLEASE!”_

Caleb was moving. He was backing away, now he was running, he didn’t know where, just _away from the fire-_

“Caleb, are you-” Essek’s voice was distant, almost blotted out by the ringing in his ears. He stumbled up the gentle slope of the lawn towards the house, up the wide steps, past the doorman who looked concerned but quickly pushed the door open for him.

The house was quiet, and Caleb’s breathing was loud in his own ears. Distantly, he registered that the weight of Frumpkin around his shoulders had vanished, and his cat’s meows came from somewhere around his ankles.

Somehow he found his way to a bathroom, slammed the door, and dropped to his knees next to the toilet, already feeling bile rise in his throat. He retched, losing what he’d had for dinner and probably some of his lunch as well. He spat, trying to get rid of the acrid taste in his mouth, and flushed the mess away. 

His hands, still shaking, clawed at his arms, digging through his sleeves at the faint scars that criss-crossed his skin. The crystals were long gone, but he could still feel the way they sat, heavy and sharp and he just wanted them _out-_

Frumpkin climbed onto his lap, meowing loudly and pushing his head into the palm of one of Caleb’s hands, forcing him to lift it from his arm before turning around and doing it again to the other. Caleb dug his hands into the cat’s fur instead as Frumpkin put his front paws on Caleb’s chest, pressing down, gently pushing Caleb to sink down and sit against the wall.

There was a knock on the door. Three gentle taps. “Caleb? Are you all right?” It was Essek.

Part of Caleb wanted Essek to leave. He shouldn’t have to see Caleb like this- weak, helpless, embarrassed. 

“I-” he choked. He couldn’t- he couldn’t speak. His throat was tight, his mouth was dry, he was gasping for air. “I can’t-”

“Caleb?” Essek sounded worried now. “Caleb, I’m coming in.” The door opened. Essek sat in the doorway, but locked the brakes on his chair and moved so quickly he almost appeared to pitch forward as soon as his gaze found Caleb on the ground. He knelt down next to Caleb on the cold tiled floor, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Caleb, I’m going to give you a breathing pattern and I want you to try and follow, all right? Try your best but don’t do anything that hurts you.”

Caleb nodded- or maybe he was just shaking. He couldn’t process anything. 

“All right. It’s going to be in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. Ready? In- 1… 2… 3… 4… And hold it- 1… 2… 3…”

Caleb’s tight lungs forced the air out as Essek said “3” and he let out a choked sob. 

“It’s all right, Caleb, I told you not to hurt yourself and you did what you needed to do. Let’s try again.” Essek’s hand shifted from Caleb’s shoulder to rest in between his shoulder blades, rubbing a gentle circle. “Ready? In - 1… 2… 3… 4… And hold it - 1… 2… 3… 4- good. 6… 7… And out - 1… 2… 3… nice, slow exhale… 6… 7… 8.” 

Caleb tried to push everything else out of his brain. He focused on Essek’s voice, low and smooth and calm. He focused on Essek’s hand; on the point of gentle connection between the two of them. He focused on moving the air in and out of his lungs. He focused on Frumpkin still gently kneading his paws on Caleb’s chest.

“There we go,” Essek said. “You’re doing great, Caleb.” He stood up with a quiet grunt and Caleb heard the sound of the faucet running before Essek knelt back down again, now holding a glass of water, which he held out to Caleb. “You look like you could use this.”

The first gulp of water Caleb swished around in his mouth before spitting it into the toilet, rinsing the lingering taste of bile off his tongue before taking another deep drink. His hands were getting the uncomfortable tight, tingly feeling that meant dehydration was on the way.

While Caleb drank, Essek settled against the wall next to him. “What can I do?” he asked quietly as Caleb set down the empty glass. “And if you want me to leave you alone, I won’t be offended.” A faint smile played around Essek’s lips- not mocking, just kind, and not a little worried.

“No, I-” Caleb’s voice was a harsh rasp and he cleared his throat before trying again. “I- please s-stay.” His fingers were moving, working through Frumpkin’s fur, trying to get rid of the feeling of the crystal’s edges on his fingertips- he could _still_ feel them-

“Do you want to talk about it, or would you prefer not to?” Essek asked gently. His hand had started up rubbing small circles on Caleb’s back again

Caleb just shook his head, feeling tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. He blinked hard and took a deep, shaky breath, trying to keep them from flowing.

“Don’t try and hold it back,” Essek murmured. “It’ll feel worse.”

And that was all Caleb needed. The metaphorical dam broke and he _cried._ At one point he became aware of Essek shifting next to him, pulling him to lean onto his shoulder and talking quietly to him- just murmured words of comfort, no real meaning behind them. Tears dripped down and soaked into the front of his shirt- and probably Essek’s collar- but the drow didn’t pull away.

Finally, the sobs quieted into hitched breaths and then into sniffles. Caleb sat back up and pulled pieces of toilet paper from the roll to wipe his nose and eyes. 

“Our house was burned down,” he blurted out. “When I was sixteen. I- I made a mistake; I threw my lot in with someone terrible and when I wanted out, he retaliated. My-” The words caught in his throat. “My parents were trapped inside.” 

Essek’s hand stilled for a moment on his back before resuming the circles. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “So the bonfire… I understand.”

“I did not think I- that it would still be such a big deal,” Caleb mumbled. “I have been trying to get more comfortable around fire. It’s been fifteen years; I can handle smaller ones. I should have been able to handle that. I should’ve- I should’ve-” Essek caught his chin gently, tipping it slightly towards him, looking Caleb in the eye.

“You’re _never_ obligated to be over something like that,” Essek said. “You’re allowed to be upset for as long as you need.”

“Sounds like the opposite of what Leylas was saying out front,” Caleb said, with a weak smile. 

“Entirely different,” Essek said with a wave of his long-fingered hand. “Not the same thing at all.”

Caleb sniffed and dragged a hand across his cheeks. “You, ah… you should get back to the party,” he said. “I’m sure people are wondering where you are.”

“They can keep wondering,” Essek said simply. “I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I- I will be fine, really,” Caleb said, staring down at Frumpkin. “You have better things to do than sit on a bathroom floor.”

A slim, dark hand with gold-painted nails came to rest over one of his. “But I’m sitting on a bathroom floor with you. And that makes all the difference.”

Caleb raised his head slightly just in time to register a brief movement out of the corner of his eye before he felt the quick press of lips on his cheek.

Essek had kissed him. 

Essek-

\- had _kissed_ -

He turned as Essek pulled away slightly. The drow looked slightly apologetic, a flush creeping up his neck and jaw, turning his dusky purple skin a faint mulberry color. “I, ah… I just-”

That was as far as he got before Caleb reached up, took his dark cheeks in both hands, and pulled him close to kiss him.

The first kiss was soft, their lips simply pressing together for a long moment before they separated. Essek’s lips were warm and smooth against his slightly chapped ones. Their eyes met, just a couple inches apart, and Caleb could feel the gentle puffs of Essek’s breath on his lips. 

Then Essek leaned forward, closing the distance again, his head tipping to one side, his lips meeting Caleb’s more hungrily. Caleb leaned into the kiss, one hand moving from Essek’s cheek to the back of his neck, shifting to his knees and dislodging Frumpkin from his lap, the cat giving an indignant _mrrp?_ as he jumped off.

When they pulled apart again, a tiny sigh escaped from Essek’s lips.

“Caleb, I, uh…” He swallowed thickly. “I just want to make sure… you want this?”

Caleb nodded. “I have wanted this since the moment I almost bumped into you in The Wild Kiln, Essek.” Suddenly Caleb was very aware of the fact that he'd thrown up a few minutes before and he blushed, moving away from Essek and burying his face in one hand. " _Gottverdamnt_ , I was just sick, and then I- I'm sorry, that must have been unpleasant."

Essek laughed. "It's all right," he said."It wasn't bad, and you're worth it." He leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against Caleb’s. Essek’s deep violet eyes were an inch away from Caleb’s, and for the first time Caleb could see the tiny gold flecks in Essek’s irises. 

“If I’m being fully honest, I told you your cat was handsome because I felt like I was about to tell _you_ you were handsome, and… I panicked,” Essek said, a little sheepishly. “It’s been so long since I’ve had feelings for anyone; it almost feels like I don’t know how to react. I tend to get buried in my work and I never seem to have time for relationships.” He chuckled, bringing a hand up to trace along Caleb’s cheek, thumbing the faint stubble sprouting along his jaw. “I didn’t really even realize what I felt for you at first; Leylas practically had to spell it out for me when she… ah, encouraged me to invite you to the party.”

“I believe my friend Jester would call that ‘disaster gay’ behavior,” Caleb said, laughing a little. 

Frumpkin, a little miffed at losing his spot, climbed onto Essek’s lap instead, kneading at his thighs for a moment before settling down and starting up a loud purr.

“I’m sorry, Frumpkin, did we neglect you once your duties were complete?” Caleb asked, reaching down to scratch the cat’s head. He glanced up at Essek. “This is the second time he’s done that with you. He’s usually a little more reserved with people.”

“Cats know things,” Essek said simply. “They’re very intuitive.”

“I was thinking about when he did it after the runway show,” Caleb said. “I won’t try and make assumptions about things but whatever the reason you use a wheelchair for, I think he knows and is trying to help you.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Essek said, giving Frumpkin a couple scratches well. “He seems like a very intuitive cat. I suffer from chronic pain issues; have for quite some time.”

“I- I am sorry for making you sit on the floor, then,” Caleb said, shifting awkwardly. “If it is uncomfortable for you.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Essek said. “I’m more concerned about you. Are you feeling better?”

“ _Ja_ \- yes, I’m fine. Perhaps we should vacate the bathroom,” Caleb suggested. “The other partygoers might be coming back inside soon and we are in a… ah… sort of a compromising position.” Caleb could feel himself blushing. “Not that we actually… uh…” He chuckled and looked away, pressing his lips together.

Essek laughed- not spitefully or mockingly, just delightedly. “And though we haven’t done anything, you’d rather not give anyone the idea that we might’ve?”

“I- yes,” Caleb said, his face hot, but he smiled. “I am not really the, uh, bathroom hookup type.”

“Well, normally I’m not either, but I could be,” Essek said, a twinkle in his eye. “I kid, I kid,” he added hurriedly as Caleb stammered a protest. “Come on, let’s go find a nicer spot to spend the evening. Help me up?”

Caleb clambered to his feet and offered a hand to Essek, who hauled himself up with a grunt and settled back in his chair, popping the brakes open. 

“There’s a very nice little sunroom upstairs if you’d rather avoid the crowd for a while,” Essek suggested. “Cushy couches and big windows looking out onto the garden.”

“That sounds ideal,” Caleb replied.

He followed Essek to the elevator and to the aforementioned sunroom. True to Essek’s word, it had a view down onto the lantern-lit garden with a couple bookshelves ringing several sprawling couches and loveseats. Essek chose a couch near the window and locked the brakes on his chair before moving to the couch and patting the cushion next to him. “Won’t you join me?” he said.

Caleb shed his coat and settled down next to him; Frumpkin jumping lightly down and curling up on Caleb’s other side. Essek’s arm rested along the back of the couch- the invitation to get closer there but not pushing. Caleb scooted in, tucking himself into Essek’s side. Essek let his arm drape loosely around Caleb’s shoulders and sighed gently.

“I haven’t dated anyone since my high school boyfriend,” he said. “I’m almost not sure how relationships work in this day and age.”

Caleb rested his head on Essek’s shoulder. “I think the beauty of the thing is that we get to decide that, _ja?”_

“Mm,” Essek hummed in agreement. “Acute observation.”

“Can I ask, in that vein, that we, ah… take things slow?” Caleb asked tentatively, lifting his head to look at Essek. “I am… I do not like excessive touching- this is fine!” he said quickly when Essek shifted like he was about to pull away. “Just… I know some people are not afraid to… ah, get more intimate more quickly when they begin dating. I am not one of those people and I wanted to put that out there so that I don’t… disappoint you.”

“You couldn’t,” Essek said with a smile on his face. “And that’s perfectly all right.” He tucked one of the loose locks of Caleb’s hair behind his ear. “I won’t make you move any faster than you’re comfortable with.”

“ _Danke,”_ Caleb murmured, settling down against Essek again as the drow’s thumb stroked back and forth across his shoulder.

“You’re welcome, _ssussun_ ,” Essek murmured, the last word coming out in a slightly deeper, richer tongue. 

Caleb lifted his head slightly. “What was that?”

Essek smiled down at him. “ _Ssussun._ It’s an Undercommon word. It means ‘brightness.’ Drow are sensitive to the light, but we crave it all the same, so many have repurposed it as a term of endearment.”

“ _Ssussun,_ ” Caleb murmured, trying out the word. “I like it. May I teach you a word in my tongue in exchange?”

“I’m all ears,” Essek said, emphasizing the words with a twitch of his pointed ears.

“ _Liebling,_ ” Caleb said. “The literal translation is ‘favorite,’ but it also means ‘darling,’ ‘beloved,’ ‘sweetheart-’ so on and so forth.”

“I quite like it,” Essek said, the tips of his ears taking on a pink tinge under the dusky blue-grey. “ _Ssussun_ and _liebling._ ”

“Makes a nice pair, don’t you think?” Caleb murmured, letting his head rest once again on Essek’s shoulder.

\-------

Much later that night, arriving back at his apartment, Caleb flopped down onto his bed with a sigh, only to wiggle around to dig his phone out of his pocket when it buzzed a moment later.

_Essek Thelyss 1:47 am_

_My apologies if this wakes you, but would you like to have a proper date later this week? Perhaps at The Wild Kiln- it seems only appropriate._

_Caleb Widogast 1:48 am_

_I would love to have a proper date with you, Essek. And The Wild Kiln sounds perfect._

_Essek Thelyss 1:50 am_

_Could we do Wednesday? I have a miraculous free day..._

_Caleb Widogast 1:51 am_

_Wednesday works perfectly. Should we do lunch? Around noon?_

_Essek Thelyss 1:52 am_

_I look forward to it. Good night, ssussun [drow blowing kiss emoji]_

_Caleb Widogast 1:52 am_

_[human blowing kiss emoji] Good night, liebling._

Caleb shut off his phone and stared at the ceiling in the dark for a minute, a goofy smile on his face.

Wait until he told the tieflings.

\--------

The woman sat on the bed in the small motel room, bent over the latest issue of _Wildemount Today_. The magazine was open to Essek’s photoshoot spread, but her attention was focused on the photographer blurb in the corner. Her finger traced over his picture, an expression that could almost be called wistful on her face.

  
 _“Bren…”_ she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, I adore hearing from you all! feel free to come yell about it with me on tumblr as well! caliannamordsson.tumblr.com


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

**|Sunday 15 Cuersar|**

_10:42 am_

_cayyyyleb has created a group chat with you and good golly mx molly_

_cayyyyleb 10:43 am_

_I have something interesting to tell the two of you._

_good golly mx molly 10:43 am_

_NOW did you get a boyfriend sdksjafd_

_cayyyyleb is typing_

_cayyyyleb is typing_

_good golly mx molly 10:43 am_

_….caleb did you actually_

_cayyyyleb 10:44 am_

_Yes._

_You 10:44 am_

_CALEB_

_WHAT_

_CALEB_

_CALEB_

_good golly mx molly 10:44 am_

_WHAT WHO TELL US CALEB_

_SKJDHLKHFKDSJLH WHO IS HE_

_cayyyyleb 10:45 am_

_I don’t think you’d know him. He’s a local model named Essek._

_…_

_[human grinning emoji]_

_good golly mx molly 10:45 am_

_W H A T_

_ESSEK THELYSS_

_ARE YOU SHITTING ME CALEB_

_(You started a group Facetime call)_

\-------

Caleb was already plugging his ears when the video call connected but a bright grin was on his face.

Both tieflings were already shrieking.

“Caleb, I _swear_ if you’re _lying_ to us, Essek _Thelyss!_ -”

“How long have you been dating? Did he kiss you at the runway show? Did you make out in his office? Did you-”

“What’s he like? Have you gone on any dates yet?”

Caleb just smiled at the frantic tieflings on his screen and waited for the tirade to subside. “He is very nice,” he said as Jester and Molly finally quieted down and looked at him expectantly. “We apparently have both been pining for a few weeks but made our feelings clear at the KMA holiday party last night-”

“You went to the _holiday party_ oh my god, Caleb, I can’t believe how _lucky_ you are-”

“-and we have an official date on Wednesday. We are getting lunch.”

Jester squealed. “Cay-leb, that’s so cute! It’s also totally crazy but _amazing_ and you have to promise to introduce us at some point? Please?”

Caleb laughed. “Absolutely. I’ve mentioned the two of you in passing already to him once or twice- I think he’d be delighted to meet you.”

  
  


**|Wednesday 18 Cuersar|**

Caleb arrived at The Wild Kiln at exactly noon, Frumpkin perched, as always, on his shoulder and a long package tucked under his arm. The cafe was fairly empty at this time of day; a couple of the tables held a group of Zadash University students with laptops and textbooks spread in front of them, half-drunk coffee set to the side. A few elves in business suits sat having a quiet discussion over a sheaf of papers.

Essek was not yet among the patrons, and Caleb had to stop himself from jumping to the automatic assumption that he wouldn’t show. 

_Essek likes you,_ he reminded himself. _You said “around noon.” Stop worrying._

Caleb took a seat in a booth by the window, setting down his parcel and pulling out his phone just as the screen lit up with a text.

_Essek Thelyss 12:02 pm_

_I see you! [winking drow emoji]_

Caleb looked up and out the window. Waiting at the crosswalk on the opposite corner was Essek, who shot him a real wink and then rolled into the street as the light changed.

A minute later, Essek was wheeling himself through the door of the cafe and over to the booth. He locked the brakes on the chair and slid into the booth across from Caleb. His dusky cheeks had a slight pink flush from the outside chill. 

“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting long!” he said. “Took me a little longer to find a parking spot.”

“Only a minute,” Caleb said with a smile.

“Well, let me make it up to you,” Essek said, leaning across the table and tugging on Caleb’s blue scarf to pull him in for a brief kiss. After they separated, Essek studied Caleb with a mischievous smile on his lips. “You know, that was slightly better than our first one. Might be that neither of us were sick beforehand.” Caleb blushed, but there was a twinkle in Essek’s eye as he reached across the table and squeezed Caleb’s hands. “Have you ordered yet?”

“ _Nein,_ I was waiting for you,” Caleb said. “I’ll go up and order, but I have something for you first.” He took the package from the seat next to him and handed it over to Essek, who took it with a look of interest.

“And here I am without a present for you,” he said in mock dismay. 

“I- it is more of a joint gift from one of my friends and me-” Caleb began.

“Caleb, I kid, I kid,” Essek said. “I couldn’t have known.” He ripped the tape on the end of the package and tipped it gently, allowing the object inside to slide out, revealing itself to be a stylish purple parasol.

“After I told my friends about… us,” Caleb said, “my friend Jester said I should get you something to help keep the sun off and made this. If you need it,” he added. “I am sure you already have some. You don’t have to keep it. I can take it back-”

Essek lifted the parasol and tapped Caleb gently on the head with it, stopping the word flow. “It’s _lovely,_ Caleb, thank you! I really don’t have that many, surprisingly.” He turned the parasol over in his hands, studying the details. “Your friend did marvelous work. Is she a crafter?”

“She creates Lolita fashion,” Caleb said. “I believe she has made similar items before.”

“Well, thank her for me,” Essek said. “Now…” He twisted slightly in his seat to take in the menu board on the wall behind the counter. “A chai tea and a kale and chicken sandwich would be lovely,” Essek said, passing Caleb his card and shaking his head when Caleb protested. “It’s my treat today,” he said. “You take care of the tip.”

Caleb wove between the tables up to the counter. Today a different Clay sibling was behind the counter- a taller female firbolg that Caleb had not yet met with a crew cut of hot pink hair. Her name tag read CALLIOPE with a little green “she/her” sticker in one corner. 

“What can I getcha today?” she asked. 

“One chai tea, one earl grey tea, and two Number Threes,” Caleb said, nodding at the sandwich list.

“You got it,” Calliope said, punching buttons on the register.

“Now, I have to ask; I have met your brother Caduceus, is the hair a family trait or…” Caleb said with a smile.

“He’s _such_ a copycat brother,” Calliope said with a smirk. “I _totally_ did it first.” She grinned and ran a hand through her short hair before giving Caleb his total. Caleb passed over Essek’s card and dropped some bills into the tip jar. 

Calliope glanced over to the booth where Essek sat, scratching Frumpkin’s head and making quiet kissy noises while he waited for Caleb. “I think Deuce’s mentioned you once or twice, you and your cat. He’s pretty cute,” she said, fishing out a few of the treats from under the counter and handing them to Caleb. “And your boyfriend’s pretty cute too,” she said in a whisper, winking at Caleb, who blushed. “Your food’ll be up in a few,” she said in a normal voice.

Caleb thanked her and made his way back to the table. “Do you want to do anything else afterwards?” he asked as he sat down. “It is not too cold out; we could go for a walk down by the waterfront. Or, uh, a roll,” he amended with a smile.

“That would be wonderful. I haven’t been down to that part of the city in some time,” Essek said wistfully. “I never seem to have business down there and my days off are usually spent close to home.”

“And what does a successful model and fashion designer do on his days off?” Caleb asked, propping his chin on one hand.  
  


“Well, it depends on the day,” Essek said. “Sometimes I’m wiped out from the day before and have to use it as a recovery day, but if I’ve got the spoons for it I like to be outside, I like watching movies, I like sewing non-work-related stuff.” Essek paused. “Would I be incorrect if I assumed you were familiar with the spoon theory?”

“Not in the slightest,” Caleb said. “It is one I use quite often.”

“Oh, excellent,” Essek said, his eyes lighting up. “Too many people are unfamiliar with it.”

“I agree,” Caleb said. “But I think that tends to be the norm with disabilities. People assume… anything they want, really, and it leads to malformed opinions. What sort of movies do you like?” he asked.

“I like superhero movies, to be quite honest,” Essek said with a chuckle. “Most people think it’s funny- ‘ _Oh, Essek, you’re so refined and cultured, wouldn’t you prefer a foreign film or something?’_ But I’ve loved superheroes since I was a kid, and I’ll probably keep loving them for a while longer. What about you? What do you like to do when you’re not taking pictures?”

Their conversation was interrupted by Calliope setting two plates on the counter. “Double number three!” she called.

“I will be right back,” Caleb said, excusing himself and hurrying up to the counter to retrieve the sandwiches. He moved a bit slower on the way back, trying not to drop the food, but made it back to the table without incident.

“To continue our conversation, I also like movies,” Caleb said, once he had sat down again. “I like to read and I love languages- I am in the process of trying to teach myself a few. I know Common, obviously, and Zemnian is my mother tongue, and I know some Sylvan from college. I’m trying to teach myself Celestial, and my friends are determined to teach me Infernal but humans are not designed to speak it very easily.”

Essek chuckled. “If you’re ever in the mood to learn more Undercommon than just sweet nothings, I could teach you a few things. That’s primarily what I spoke growing up.”

“That is a tempting offer,” Caleb said, taking a bite of his sandwich. “I hope you’re prepared to keep it on the table because I very well might take you up on it.”

“I’m a man of my word; don’t you worry,” Essek said. “These friends- are they the tieflings you mentioned at the shoot? Purple and blue”

“Molly and Jester,” Caleb confirmed. “I met them through photography as well, though our relationships have remained on the friend level. Jester is dating a woman who does some combination of fitness instruction and self-defense classes, and Molly is, ah… a free spirit,” Caleb finished. 

“Are they also in the fashion industry?” Essek asked, eating a few of the chips on his plate.

“Somewhat,” Caleb replied. “Molly is a cosplayer, so I do photoshoots for both of them quite often. Molly is a big fan of yours, by the way. They love having a trans role model in the fashion industry to look up to.”

“Well, you’ll have to introduce us sometime!” Essek suggested. “I’d love to meet them; they sound very interesting.”

“I think they might implode if they met you,” Caleb said. “They nearly flipped a table when they found out I’d be working the runway show.” He chuckled. “But I’m sure they’d be delighted.”

The two finished their lunch and dropped their dishes into the tub next to the trash can.

“Have you ever been to the greenhouse?” Caleb said, nodding at the door on the back wall.

“Usually when I’m here I’m on the way to somewhere else and never have time,” Essek said. “I’d love to take a look, though.”

The greenhouse was warm and humid, even with the chilly air outside, and the air was sweet with a sharp undertone. The gentle sound of burbling water drifted over from the back of the building and the early winter sun shone in through the glass walls and roof, breaking up as it passed through the plants hanging from the roof.

“It is rather like Ms. Kryn’s garden, _ja?”_ Caleb remarked. “Just a bit smaller.” They wandered down one of the aisles, Essek reaching out and brushing his fingers along several leaves as they passed.

They came upon the spring in the back- the source of the sound of water. A shallow circular stone pool about three feet in diameter sat on the floor, being fed by a small stream of water that poured from a stone bowl on one side. A small figure sat in the middle of the pool- the form of a woman, cross-legged and smiling serenely with tiny stone flowers and leaves in her hair. 

“Melora,” Caleb said quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace and quiet of the garden.

“Mm?” Essek glanced up.

“It’s a shrine to Melora,” Caleb said. “The spring itself was touched by her a long time ago- or so the legend goes- and some Clays long ago built the fountain around it to preserve the area and create a shrine at which they could worship. As time went on, they built up gardens because plants seemed to flourish more around it, and it evolved into the greenhouse and coffee shop that’s here today. Melora is not so widely worshipped anymore, but the shrine is still here for anyone that wants to use it.”

“You know quite a bit about it,” Essek said. “I’m impressed.”

“Oh, I just asked Caduceus about it one day,” Caleb said, shrugging. “And, uh…” He tapped his temple. “Steel trap up here.” He sighed, exhaling deeply. “I like to come and sit in here just to think, sometimes, when my mind gets a little cluttered. The whole greenhouse just has a very calming effect.”

“I can see why,” Essek said, reaching down to dip his fingers in the water. He swirled them around for a few moments, watching the way the light seemed to catch in the wake of his fingers, leaving a shimmery trail for just a moment. “It’s stunning.” He glanced up at Caleb. “You rather outshine it, though.”

Caleb blushed. “You are quite the wordsmith,” he said. “I have long prided myself on having a silver tongue and yet it seems to desert me around you.”

Essek reached over with his dry hand and took Caleb’s hand, bringing it to his lips for a gentle kiss. “I’m going to take that as a compliment,” he said. “Shall we head down to the waterfront?”

\-------

The Zadash Marina was located on the western edge of the nearby Lake Julous. Dozens of small boathouses and piers lined the waterfront. Not many boats were out on the lake at this time of year, but the area still bustled with foot traffic around the surrounding shops and cafes. The trees along the promenade were leafless but strung with twinkling fairy lights that were bright even in the midday sun. Essek had opened his parasol and settled it into a little mount that Caleb hadn’t noticed yet on the back of his chair, effectively propping it up over his head.

Caleb and Essek took the path that curved directly along the water’s edge, passing by several short docks with boathouses branching off. Sunlight rippled along the tiny wave tops and eddies swirling around out on the water. 

Most of the boathouses and docks were quiet and empty, with the exception of one. A green awning was erected over the near end of the dock, with words printed in white across the front:

TIDE’S BREATH TOURS

_Lake tours・Boat charters・Events_

Operating Thunsheer - Cuersar

The dock had railings on either side and a swinging gate under the awning. At the other end of the dock, a large boat rocked gently in the waves. It was a seaweed green color with a shimmering white streak around the hull just beneath the railing. The boat’s name- _Star Razor_ \- was printed in white along the bow. A half-orc man in a leather jacket was walking down the gangplank, the main door into the lower deck closing behind him. He glanced over to Caleb and Essek and gave them a wave.   
  


“Looking to book a tour?” he called, coming down the dock towards them.

“Ah, no thank you,” Caleb said as the half-orc got closer. “We were just admiring your boat- I have seen you before,” he said, interrupting himself. “You were at The Wild Kiln, with Caduceus.” Caleb caught himself. “I’m sorry, I did not mean to be… awkward; I just tend to remember people’s faces.”

The half-orc laughed. “Don’t worry about it. Yeah, I’m over there a lot; Caduceus is my boyfriend. And I’m glad you like the boat; she’s my pride and joy.” He slapped the hull. “She’s fairly new but she’s been running quite well.” He held out a hand. “I’m Fjord, by the way. I don’t think we were formally introduced at the Kiln.”

“Caleb,” Caleb replied, shaking the offered hand. “And this is Essek.”

“Always a pleasure to meet a friend of Caduceus’,” Essek said, shaking Fjord’s hand as well. “How long have you been doing tours on the lake?”

“Quite a few years,” Fjord said. “I’ve been operating on my own for the last five or so, but I’ve been on boats most of my life. Worked as a fisherman for a bit before I decided I wanted to branch off and share my love of the water with other people.”

“Has business been good?” Caleb asked. 

“Apart from that nasty storm last year, yes,” Fjord replied. “Trashed my old boat, the _Summer’s Dance._ It was hard to say goodbye to her but repairs would’ve cost more than a new one so I was closed for a month or so while I looked for one.”

“She’s quite lovely,” Essek said, looking up at the boat. “I’ve yet to do any shoots on a boat. Might be something to look into in the future,” he mused. He looked up at Fjord. “I might get in contact with you. Do you have a business card I could take?”

Fjord was already pulling a small case out of his pocket. “I’m right there with you,” he said, handing Essek a card the same color as the boat.

While Essek and Fjord talked, Caleb had drifted over to a bulletin board next to the dock. Most of the notices were Fjord’s schedules, prices, and deals, but a smaller one down in the corner had caught his eye.

_CULT SURVIVORS SUPPORT GROUP_

_Are you a survivor/escapee of a cult, fanatical sect or other similar group? Join us and discuss your experiences in a safe, non-judgemental environment with others who have gone through similar experiences. Learn about resources tailored to your situation and build supportive relationships with others._

_1st and 3rd Fridays of each month, 6 pm_

_The Wild Kiln, 7720 Savalier Street_

_Refreshments provided._

Tearaway contact slips were fluttering in the gentle chilly breeze at the bottom of the flyer. Caleb reached out and pulled one off, tucking it in his pocket.

Caleb had seen a therapist for a while after he’d been moved to Zadash but it had never really seemed to help. He hadn’t really clicked with the therapist but had been too inexperienced to realize it at the time and now it seemed like as an adult he was doing… well, he was doing _okay,_ right? He didn’t think it was really that necessary to go back. The occasional nightmare was nothing to bother a therapist about. The odd panic attack was easy enough to get through. But maybe a group of other people that he could talk to would be… something to do. 

Fjord and Essek had finished their conversation and Essek had joined Caleb at the bulletin board. He reached up and slipped his hand into Caleb’s, making Caleb jump slightly.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, love,” he said, glancing across the bulletin board until he found the support group flyer and then looking up at Caleb. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Caleb squeezed his hand almost unconsciously. “I- I thought maybe it would be good for me to go.” He swallowed. “I have not talked about what happened to very many people. A therapist, some years ago. Molly and Jester. You.” 

Fjord had edged closer to them as well. “I don’t mean to insert myself in the conversation, but were you interested in attending a group meeting?”

Caleb chewed his lip. “I was thinking about it. Perhaps.”

Fjord nodded. “No pressure to attend, and no pressure to share if you do come. I run it with Deuces over at the Kiln and it’s just a nice environment to be in even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing. Next meeting is this Friday, if you’re interested.”

Caleb nodded. “I’m glad to have a connection with the location and the people,” he said softly. “I… I will consider it.”

Fjord clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Shoot me a text if you have any questions or concerns. I’m going to get back to work; it was nice to meet the two of you officially!” He headed back down the dock to his boat, leaving Caleb and Essek on the sidewalk. 

“Caduceus did mention that Fjord had been in a bad situation before they began dating but I guess I assumed he’d perhaps been in an abusive relationship,” Caleb murmured. “I had no idea he’d been in a cult as well.”

“You haven’t yet called what happened to you a cult,” Essek said gently. “Is that accurate?”

“I… I suppose so,” Caleb said, tucking his free hand inside his coat sleeve and picking at the cuff. “I- I will talk about this more with you if you would like to know, but not right now? Please?”

Essek squeezed his hand. “Of course, Caleb, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push a sensitive subject. Let’s keep going?” He pressed a gentle kiss against Caleb’s knuckles. “Thank you for stopping me when I made you uncomfortable.”

Something warm bloomed in Caleb’s chest. The way Essek talked to him so _openly_ about his issues- people tended to dance around them awkwardly when they came up in conversation. Molly and Jester were fine talking about it- goodness knows they had their own issues- but on the rare occasions where it came up in conversation, people usually just offered an uncomfortable “Oh, that’s awful,” before lapsing into silence and changing the subject.

But not only was Essek _willing_ to talk about it, he was willing to _stop._ And that was even more important, because it made Caleb _want_ to talk about it. There was no pressure to share, which made it all the more easy to do so.

“Thank you for stopping,” Caleb murmured, returning the knuckle kiss. “I will tell you more. You deserve to know. Just...not now.”

“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll listen,” said Essek. “But only when you’re ready.”

And with that, the two continued down along the waterfront.

\-------

The woman walked along the austere-looking hall. Dim lights sat along the ceiling at regular intervals, adding to the foreboding atmosphere. Solid metal doors were set into the walls with thin windows at head height. A guard lay convulsing on the floor at the end of the hall, a discarded syringe near his neck. Another syringe was tucked into the sleeve of the prison guard uniform the woman currently wore- just in case. Her blonde hair was tucked up into a guard’s cap and her chin was tipped down, throwing shadows across her face but not quite hiding the old scar that sliced across her right eye and cheek.

She strode down the hall with purpose- _Act like you belong, and they will believe it._ She checked the slip of paper in her hand for the cell number and came to a stop outside the correct one, peering through the window. A smile pulled at her lips. She unhooked the walkie-talkie clipped to a belt loop. 

“ _Es ist er,_ ” she said, the Zemnian words crackling down the line. “ _Ӧffne die Zelle._ ”

Back down the hall, a dark-haired man smiled. Behind him, two more guards lay in a heap on the floor of the tiny control room. His fingers traced over a few buttons before he pressed the correct one.

The steel door trundled open, revealing the sparse, Spartan interior of a solitary confinement cell. A haggard-looking man sat on the bunk, leaning against the wall and humming a tuneless song, but sat up as the woman entered the cell.

“ _Guten Abend,_ Ikithon _,_ ” she said. “I’ve found our wayward friend.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all y'all in comments: aaaa this is so soft I love it
> 
> me: cackling as I write this chapter
> 
> ***but in all seriousness please pay attention to the updated tags! this chapter does begin delving into more mature content that may be triggering to some people***
> 
> what you need to look out for if you'd like to skip the sections:  
>  \- Brief discussion of CSA: skip from "There were a few moments of silence" to "his arms still wrapped around himself"  
>  \- Discussions of what could be considered child grooming, allusions to wounds inflicted by others (Trent + the crystals), unwilling/unknowing use of psychoactive substances: skip from "When I was young" to "you deserve to know the truth." (This section is Caleb's history within this story.)  
> These sections will also be marked with ~~~

**|Friday 20 Cuersar|**

Caleb was perched on the couch in Essek’s office. Frumpkin was in his lap, and Caleb’s hands were buried in Frumpkin’s fur. Even though Essek had work to do, he’d invited Caleb to spend the afternoon with him, and Caleb was not about to refuse- not with anxiety about the support group meeting gnawing at his mind and putting knots in his stomach.

“Caleb, you know don’t have to go,” Essek said softly. “If it’s getting you this worked up…” He stood from his desk and came to sit next to him, rubbing his back gently. “Remember, you don’t have to share anything. It’s just about being there with people who know what sort of thing you’ve gone through. We could just have a movie night if you want.”

Caleb shook his head. “I- I should. I need to learn to… to deal with it. To talk about it and work through it. Maybe hearing other people talk about their… stuff with help.” He ran a slow hand through the fur on Frumpkin’s back.

“Well, at least let me give you a ride and pick you up afterwards,” Essek offered. “We can still have a movie night if you want, to help you unwind.” He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Caleb’s temple. His hand slid down to wrap around Caleb’s midriff and he gave a reassuring squeeze. “You can spend the night- if you’d like. Nothing weird. Just movies, snacks, and snuggles if you want them.”

Caleb blew out a long breath through pursed lips and laughed a little shakily. “I think I will very much want some snuggles. Thank you,  _ liebling. _ ” He kissed Essek’s shoulder and then gave him a gentle nudge. “Now go get back to work.”

“Must I?” Essek heaved a dramatic sigh and draped his arms over Caleb’s shoulders. “But I’d rather stay like  _ this. _ ”

“I would think you could do both,” Caleb said, the knots in his stomach loosening a bit as Essek teased him. “Or am I just too distracting for you? Perhaps I should leave-” Caleb made to rise and Essek tugged him back down.

“Nooo,” he pleaded. “Don’t  _ leeeeave _ me.” Then he let go and lapsed into giggles, leaning into Caleb as he laughed. “I’m sorry,  _ ssussun _ . I’d quite forgotten how much I like having someone around to just…  _ hold _ . I might be a little touch-starved.”

“Sounds like cuddles are in order for both of us, then” Caleb said, catching Essek’s chin and kissing him briefly. “Now go get your laptop so you can stay over here.”

\--------

“You promise me if you’re feeling too uncomfortable you’ll take a break and text me?” Essek’s car was idling outside The Wild Kiln. Essek was clasping Caleb’s hand in his. “I won’t be too far away. If you need to just leave I’ll come get you early.”

“I promise,  _ liebling, _ ” Caleb said, squeezing his hand. “It will be fine.” He glanced over to the cafe. The inside was still brightly lit, and with the fading light outside he could see several people milling about inside; mingling, chatting, and filling plates with snacks. A sign on the door read “PRIVATE EVENT” and he caught a glimpse of both Fjord and Caduceus among the patrons.

Caleb leaned over and kissed Essek on the nose, making the drow blink in mild surprise but smile. “I will see you in an hour,  _ ja? _ ” 

“I’ll be counting the minutes,” Essek said as Caleb opened the door and stepped into the chilly night air. Frumpkin was bundled in his tiny parka and draped in his usual spot around Caleb’s neck. Caleb watched Essek drive away and turned as the door opened with a jingle. Fjord was leaning out with a smile on his face.

“Hey, Caleb, I’m glad you decided to come!” He opened the door wider. “Come on inside, grab some food and make yourself comfortable. We’ll get started in a couple minutes.”

Caleb followed Fjord inside, the ends of his hair fluttering in the warm rush of air as he passed through the doorway. The gathering was fairly small- about ten or twelve people were slowly finding seats. The tables had been pushed out of the middle of the floor and chairs had been arranged in a loose circle. Caleb bent to let Frumpkin jump down to a chair and shed his jacket before heading over to the plates of pastries and small sandwiches arranged on plates. A couple pitchers of lemonade and water were on the end along with some glasses. Caleb stepped up next to a dark-haired girl filling up her plate and realized with a start that a black dragon tail snaked out of a hole in the back of her jeans. As she reached for a pastry, he could see that her arm was covered in the same black scales. She glanced over and Caleb got the biggest shock yet- delicate black scales covered the right side of her face, arcing around the corner of her mouth. She glanced over and smiled. 

“Hi, I’m Cali!” She held out the draconic hand, then curled her fingers in slightly. “I- I understand if you- you don’t want to- um, I know the dragon side can be... off-putting.”

“No, no,” Caleb said quickly, reaching out giving her hand a firm shake. The scales were soft and flexible under his fingers, like holding a snake. “I have just never seen anyone with scales like yours before. They are quite lovely.”

Cali blushed and tucked a swath of smooth black hair behind one pointed ear. “Thank you-”

“Caleb,” Caleb supplied as he took a sandwich.

“Thank you, Caleb!” Cali said. “Apparently I had a draconic ancestor way back in the generational line and it manifested pretty strongly in me. Is this your first time at the meeting?”

Caleb nodded. “Is it yours as well?”

Cali shrugged. “Yes and no. I was here last time but I was just mainly observing.” She walked with Caleb back to where he’d left his coat and Frumpkin. “D’you mind if I sit next to you?”

“Not at all,” Caleb said, taking his seat. The last couple people standing up migrated towards chairs as well, and Fjord and Caduceus took seats next to one another in the circle. 

“All right, let’s get started,” Fjord said. “My name’s Fjord. I see a couple new faces this week; welcome to those attending for the first time, and welcome back to those who’ve been here before. A couple of ground rules for the new folks- and a recap for the veterans.” Fjord ticked off the rules on his fingers as he spoke. “Number one- all experiences are valid. No one should feel like their experience was less traumatic or not as bad as someone else’s. Number two- no one should feel pressured to share. We are here to support one another, whether we know the story or not. Number three- there might be topics discussed that are triggering to some people. That's all right. We don’t censor you here, but we do ask that you let everyone know at the beginning if what you’re talking about includes something that might be triggering. And most importantly number four- everything said here is said in confidence. We respect one another’s privacy and if someone chooses to share their story, it does not leave this room. Does everyone agree to follow these rules?”

Everyone in the circle murmured their assent and Fjord nodded. “All right. Would anyone like to start us off?”

~~~

There were a few moments of silence before a sullen-looking man raised a hand. “Yeah, uh, I’ll go. My name’s Kashaw, uh, you can call me Kash. First time here.”

There were a few murmured hellos from around the circle. As Kash glanced around, Caleb noticed that one of his eyes was bright blue and the other was a striking shade of yellow- not draconic like Cali’s, just a yellow iris.

“Content warning for, uh, for CSA in my stuff,” he said. “Uh… so when I was born, the… group of people I was born around decided that I was “chosen” by some weird entity that they believed in. I still don’t really know what for. But, uh… I was kind of auto-betrothed to one of the leaders of the group. They kind of just put me up on a pedestal until I was fifteen, and then we were married for real. She, uh... “ Kash shuddered, wrapped his arms around his torso and Caleb could see tiny scars of perfect, inch-long lines littering his right forearm. 

Unconsciously, Caleb rubbed at his own arm. In his lap, Frumpkin gently nosed under his hand, pushing it away from his arm.

Kash kept talking. “Well, we, uh, we consummated the marriage, let’s say.” He stared at the floor, his arms still wrapped around himself.

~~~

“Things were a little fuzzy for a bit after that but eventually I got away from her- from all of them. They all disbanded and I got out. Started a new life. I met this amazing woman, we got married and uh…” A smile flickered across his face. “We just had a set of twins.” He scrambled for his phone and turned it on, showing the background to everyone. A red-skinned tiefling woman smiled at the camera, cradling two tiny tiefling babies- one red-skinned like their mother, one more of an ochre. There was a chorus of  _ awwws _ and coos from the group. 

“Thank you for sharing, Kash,” Caduceus rumbled. “I’m so glad you’ve found someone you love and who loves you for you.”

Fjord nodded. “And have you been making other connections? New friends, people who will support you?”

Kash nodded. “Yeah. It was hard at first- I didn’t trust anyone. I didn’t know if someone had been part of the cult- if they might recognize me. But Zahra’s been helping me open up and let people into my life again.” He fell silent and glanced around. “Yeah, I’m, uh, I’m done, if anyone else wants to go.”

There was another silence before Cali shifted and raised her draconic hand. “I- I will.” She fiddled with the hem of her green drapey shawl. “Nothing to warn against in mine, I don’t think. Mine actually sounds a little like Kash’s. Um- I was also raised with a group that kind of elevated me to a weird higher standing but I wasn’t born into it. At least, I don’t think so. They told me I was abandoned as a baby because of these-” Cali reached up and touched the scales on her cheek. “But I think they kidnapped me. I’m still looking for my birth family. The people I was raised with were a cult that were obsessed with dragons- even though they died out a long time ago. They told me I was special, that by just being alive I would help bring dragons back somehow. For a while I believed them; I was young and naive and liked feeling important. But they kidnapped people to sacrifice in- in my name and as I got older I realized that they were delusional and just murdering people. So I ran away.” Cali looked around. “I got put in the foster system for a while and this wonderful couple took me in, and I even took their last name. Because, uh, I didn’t have one.” She gave a little half smile. “It took me a while to learn how the real world worked, but I’m getting by.” 

The rest of the meeting passed in a similar fashion. For the last fifteen minutes or so, Fjord and Caduceus discusses other resources available, including several local therapists who specialized in the attendees’ particular brand of trauma and were offering free first sessions to those attending the meetings. Caleb collected all the pamphlets and business cards into a small pile in his lap and stared at them. Maybe he should give it another try.

People began to get up and throw away wrappers and napkins. There was a low murmur of conversation and Fjord and Caduceus thanked everyone for being there. People drifted out onto the street, making the door chimes jingle and sending cold tendrils of air curling around everyone’s feet.

Caleb glanced out onto the street. Essek’s car wasn’t there yet. “Can I help the two of you clean up at all? I’m still waiting on my ride,” he explained. 

“Sure, if you’d like!” Caduceus said. “Want to help me with these tables? We just wanna get them back to where they normally are during the day.” Caleb nodded and moved to grab the other end of the table as Fjord began gathering the unused plates and utensils. “Hey, Fjord, will you turn the TV on while you’re back there?” Caduceus called. “I think there’s a Downton Abbey rerun on that we can have on while we clean.” Fjord called an affirmative from the kitchen and a moment later, the small TV perched in a ceiling corner lit up.

“-this broadcast for a breaking news report,” a female half-elf newscaster was saying. “We have received word from Rexxentrum Maximum Security Prison that cult leader and murderer Trent Ikithon has been broken out of the facility with the aid of two unknown-”

The table slipped from Caleb’s fingers and thudded to the floor. 

“Oops, you got that?” Caduceus’ voice was faraway and weirdly echoey. “Caleb?”

Caleb’s fingers were buzzing. He turned, slowly to face the TV, hoping,  _ praying _ , that somehow it was a different Trent Ikithon-

The newscaster was still speaking. “Ikithon was serving a life sentence for multiple murders in Rexxentrum more than fifteen years ago.” A mug shot appeared on the screen next to her. It was old, but the wiry brown hair and slightly-too-intense blue eyes were all too familiar. 

_ Trent Ikithon. _

Caleb could feel phantom fingers squeezing his shoulder, the insidious voice that slipped into his ear, telling him how smart he was, what a  _ clever boy _ he was, how he had so much potential that was being squashed by his poor overbearing parents and how everything would be  _ so _ much better if he-

Caleb’s breath caught in his chest. It felt like his lungs were seizing up. His fingers had gone numb and his hands, splayed on the tiled floor- when had that happened? How had he ended up down there?- could barely support his weight. A blur of orange was winding between his arms, meowing loudly.

Distantly, he registered Caduceus and Fjord calling his name, and then a new voice, a softly accented voice murmuring in Undercommon.

Essek had arrived. 

Caleb could smell the cologne he always wore, subtle with a little bit of a spicy undertone. Caleb kept meaning to ask him the name. Essek had a gentle hand on his back rubbing circles between his shoulder blades and kept up a stream of words in Undercommon- the actual translation unknown to Caleb but the meaning clear. 

Caleb dragged a breath into his rebelling lungs as Essek maneuvered him into a sitting position and took a seat behind him, pressing Caleb’s back to his own chest.

“That’s right,  _ ssussun _ , deep breaths. Whatever you can do.” Essek had switched into Common. “Just breathe, Caleb,  _ please _ .” Essek actually sounded a little scared.

Caleb’s head was spinning and dimly he realized it was probably from lack of oxygen, but there wasn’t really anything he could currently do about that except try and force air into tight lungs.

Caduceus, Fjord and Essek were having a conversation over his head. Caleb caught bits and pieces in his floaty, light-headed state.

“... call paramedics?”

“... never like this yet…”

“...should lock up. Fjord, can you…”

Somehow, Caleb managed to get his lungs working again. He felt clammy and his clothes clung uncomfortably in places, like he’d broken out in a sweat and soaked his shirt sleeves.

“Caleb, you back with us, love?” Caleb could feel the vibrations as Essek spoke buzzing gently through his torso. He nodded weakly.

“M… more or less,” he said hoarsely. “I’m- I’m s-”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Caleb,” Essek said gently. “Don’t you dare. Can you tell us what happened?”

“I think maybe we should have this conversation in the back room,” Caduceus said softly. “Let’s get you up off the floor.” Together, he and Essek helped Caleb to his feet. Essek slid his arm around Caleb’s waist and led Caleb to a door marked “Employees Only.” 

The room inside was small but surprisingly cozy. There were a few comfortable-looking chairs around a low table, and a small refrigerator in the corner with a microwave on top. Essek settled Caleb in one of the chairs and pulled a second one over to sit next to him, clasping Caleb’s hand in both of his own as Frumpkin jumped up and curled in Caleb’s lap.

“All right,” Essek said. “Caleb, does this have anything to do with why you came to the meeting?”

Caleb nodded. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and didn’t trust himself to speak without crying.

“Do you know the man who escaped prison?”

Another nod.

“Caleb, I need you to talk to me,” Essek said, his voice soft but firm. “We can’t help you if we don’t know what happened. I know you didn’t want to talk about it but I think we need to.”

Caduceus stood and went to the door. “I’m gonna make everyone some tea,” he murmured. “I think we need it.”

As the door closed behind Caduceus, Caleb blew a slow breath out through pursed lips and began to talk. 

~~~

“When I was young,” he began, “I lived in a suburb of Rexxentrum called Blumenthal. My family was not very well-off but we got by. It helped that I was a bright child; I received scholarships and offers from several local schools. I even tested into a high IQ society; me and two of my dear friends all did. It was big news, three children from the same town all accepted in.” Caleb laughed shakily as Caduceus reentered with a tray carrying some mugs of hot water and set it down on the table. Essek scooped up a sachet of chamomile and dropped it into one of the mugs before handing it to Caleb. 

Caleb continued talking. “It was all very exciting. I and Astrid and Eodwulf- my friends- we were the youngest members in a very long time. We went into the city every week for meetings, we received scholarships and books and all sorts of wonderful resources for our particular aptitude. And then we were approached by another member. His name was Trent Ikithon.” Caleb’s finger clenched slightly around the mug. “When we first met him he seemed so kind. We were excited to have another member interested in being friends with us- we were the only ones even remotely close to our age so we did not connect much with the other members. Looking back, we should have seen warning signs, but we were young, and while we were book smart, we were not very... street smart. We were twelve. We did not see the danger.

“He invited us to new meetings- a special sect of the group, he said. For the elite. We, and others, met during the regular meetings, in another area. It started normally enough; his other meetings were similar enough to the regular society meetings that we did not see a problem. But he-” Caleb swallowed thickly. “He started grooming us. He had a way with words, something about him that made you trust him innately. And- then he began influencing us in other ways. He had some kind of… psychoactive substance. He would have it on his fingers, and then it would spread to our skin, our clothes. It made us more susceptible to influence and suggestion. He did not ask us to do much at first- he would ask us to skip school for more meetings. He wanted us to spend more time with him.”

Caleb had not told anyone the full truth in years. Not even Molly and Jester. His gaze was fixed on his mug of tea, slowly going lukewarm in his hands. He didn’t want to look at Essek. Didn’t want to see the way Essek was probably looking at him “We spent nearly two years like that. Somehow our parents did not catch on. And then Ikithon told us we were ready for the next level of this group. Me, and Astrid, and Eodwulf.” Caleb pressed his lips together, fighting the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. The scars on his arms throbbed with phantom stabbing pains as he pulled a sleeve of his sweater up. The jagged scars stood out pale against his skin.

“The substance he’d been dosing us with came from some kind of crystal. The next step-” Caleb’s voice broke. The mug shook in his hands and Essek rescued it from his grasp before it could fall, enfolding Caleb’s hands in his own and tracing some of the lower scars.

“Caleb, what- ” Essek’s grip tightened slightly. “Oh, he didn’t. He wouldn’t have, not to  _ children- _ ” Essek’s voice was low and calm- dangerously so, like a tiger’s growl before it pounced.

Caleb just nodded, his eyes screwed shut against the tears that were now flowing. In a choked but measured voice, he kept going.

“The crystals provided a stronger dose,” Caleb said. “And he began telling us that we were already so successful, so smart, but we were being held back. We could do anything we wanted if our parents were not oppressing us. He told us nothing more- just planted the idea in our heads. The rest was up to us.” Caleb blinked, and tears trickled down his cheeks. “I guess it speaks to Astrid and Eodwulf’s true characters that they took to the idea so easily, and soon it was just I that had not…” Caleb took a shuddering breath. “But I did not want to. Perhaps I had developed some resistance to the drug, or my mind was stronger than those of my friends. So I refused. I went to the authorities; I showed them what he had done to me; I told them what he wanted me to do. And by the time I returned home-” Caleb let out a sob, curling into himself. “Trent had done it himself.” Caleb sucked in a ragged breath. “I was moved out of the city and put into witness protection, which I am technically not supposed to tell anyone but I do not care anymore because you deserve to know the truth.”

~~~

There was silence in the small room. Caleb stayed hunched over Frumpkin, eyes closed, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs, waiting for Essek and Fjord and Caduceus to leave him in disgust, to tell him how awful he was, to-

-place a hand on his shoulder, grip his hands more tightly and come to kneel on the floor next to his chair.

None of them said anything, apart from Essek who murmured, “Remember what I said about crying,  _ ssussun _ .”

Caleb opened his eyes at the pet name- or more accurately, at the fact that Essek was still  _ using _ it. Tears flowed unchecked down his cheeks as he looked at Essek- good, pure Essek who shouldn’t have to have someone like Caleb in his life. 

“I- I understand if you want to leave,” Caleb said. “If you don’t want-”

Essek cupped Caleb’s face in his hands, wiping away the tear tracks with his thumbs. “Caleb, why on earth would I want to do that?”

Caleb reached up and clung to one of Essek’s hands with his own even as he cried, afraid that if he didn’t hold on now he would lose Essek. “Because- because I am a terrible person who- who-”

“You’re the same  _ wonderful _ person that I met in this very shop,” Essek said. “The amazing person who takes beautiful pictures, who cares  _ so _ much about the people in his life, and-” Essek lifted Caleb’s face, meeting his gaze. “Who is not at fault for what happened to him. At all.”

“Caleb, you did the right thing,” Caduceus said. “You recognized that you were in a bad place and took steps to reverse it.”

Caleb was frazzled and suddenly exhausted. His mind had gone from running on overdrive to a screeching halt and he couldn’t understand why everyone was still being  _ nice _ to him after he’d told them what he’d _ done _ and now his chest was getting tight again and-

“ _ Caleb. _ ” Essek was tapping his cheeks gently. “Caleb, dear, I don’t like the way you’re spiraling right now.” He looked over at Caduceus and Fjord before looking back at Caleb. “No question now; you’re coming to my place tonight. I don’t want you to be alone tonight and my building has better security than most banks in the city. You need sleep.” He stroked his thumbs along Caleb’s cheekbones again. “Do you have… some kind of case worker or agent? Someone in charge of your protection case?”

Caleb nodded shakily- his whole body was trembling now with anxiety and exhaustion. “My- my phone is in my coat. Still out in the cafe.”

“I’ll grab it.” Fjord hurried out into the cafe, returning a moment later with Caleb’s brown coat. 

Caleb fumbled the phone out of one of the many pockets and turned it on. A missed call notification glowed gently on the screen. “Ah,” he said weakly. “She has already called.” He pressed the redial option and held the phone to his ear, waiting as it rang. The person on the other end picked up on the second ring.

Essek, Fjord, and Caduceus listened to Caleb’s half of the conversation and watched as he seemed to take on a huge weight on his shoulders. When he hung up, his eyes were closed and a worry line sliced between his brows.

“Agent Vord says that I should spend some time out of town until they recapture Ikithon and his associates,” he said quietly. “And that she is assigning me a police detail until I can manage to leave, and that I should not go anywhere alone as an extra precaution. There are a few other things she’s going to call about tomorrow.” He glanced at Essek. “She thinks it is good that I am spending the night at your apartment.”

Essek nodded. “Does she think you should stay away from your apartment in general?”

Caleb nodded. “I will need to go back- or have someone go back for me- and collect a few things at some point but if you can lend me a few things I will be fine for the night. We may need to find some food for Frumpkin but that is not too difficult.”

Essek clasped Caleb’s hands in his own. “Okay. Let’s get going. We can stop for cat food along the way; there should still be places open.”

“Do you want anyone along as backup?” Fjord said. “I can tail behind you just to make sure nothing funny happens, and I can grab the cat food if you’d like.”

“That would be much appreciated,” Essek said. “Did you leave anything else out in the cafe or just your coat?” The question was directed at Caleb, who shook his head after a few moments.

“Just my coat,” he said hoarsely. Essek helped him to his feet and settled a protective arm around Caleb’s shoulders once he’d gotten his coat on. Caleb scooped up Frumpkin, who climbed up and settled in scarf position.

“Thank you for letting us stay for a while,” Essek said to Caduceus as he gently steered Caleb toward the door, Fjord following behind.

“It’s no trouble,” Caduceus said with a smile, though there was worry in his eyes. “If there’s anything else I can do, please let me know?”

Essek promised to do so and led Caleb to his car, parked outside the store. Night had fully fallen and Essek was quick in getting Caleb settled in the passenger seat and pulling away from the curb.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all! sorry for skipping an update last week; I had just gotten back from C2E2 the day before, and in the hectic pre-con weeks I had accidentally caught up to my chapter backlog so I wasn't really ready for an update. But we now return to our regularly scheduled posting!
> 
> (and this chapter was gonna be so much longer but I decided to chop it before the Angst™ 😈 So you'll just have to waiiiiit

The ride to Essek’s apartment passed in a blur for Caleb. Fjord caught up with them outside the tall apartment block and passed Essek a plastic bag before wishing the two of them a good night and driving away. Caleb vaguely remembered pulling into an underground garage and then riding an elevator up, up, up, all the way to the top floor.

“Home sweet home,” Essek said as the elevator dinged and came to a stop. “I have the penthouse. This floor is accessible only via key card in the elevator or control panel from inside the apartment and the stairs are also key card-locked at multiple points. I’m going to make sure the doorman is aware of the situation.” He tucked a few strands of hair behind Caleb’s ear and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “It’s going to be all right,  _ ssussun. _ ”

Caleb just nodded dazedly and leaned against Essek, letting his head rest on Essek’ shoulder while the drow unlocked the front door. All his adrenaline had drained away, leaving him with an exhaustion that seemed to sink right down to his bones.

If he’d been fully himself, Caleb would’ve been able to appreciate the tasteful, modern decor in the open floor plan of Essek’s penthouse; the stand by the door where a selection of canes- and the purple parasol- were leaning; the windows that stretched floor-to-ceiling and showed off a view of the Zadash skyline with thousands of lights glowing in the tall buildings, but for now it was all he could do to let Essek tug his coat off for him and lead him through the open floor to the sunken living room area.

“As much as I’d hoped you’d spend the night at some point I’d rather it were under better circumstances,” Essek said, letting Caleb sink down on a couch and sitting next to him. “Would you like to shower, or take a bath? You’re a little clammy and your clothes are practically soaked.”

Caleb swallowed thickly. “I-  _ ja, _ a shower would be nice. Thank you.”  _ Why  _ was Essek still being nice to him? Did he somehow not realize what Caleb had done? 

Essek pressed his lips to Caleb’s forehead. “All right. Are you feeling any better?”

Caleb leaned into Essek’s kiss. “I am… I am just feeling numb,” he said helplessly. “I do not know whether to feel scared or angry or sad or- or what. So I think I am just… not feeling.”

“I think that’s quite understandable,” Essek said. “And it’s perfectly okay.” He stood up and took Caleb’s hands, very gently pulling him up too. Caleb swayed slightly before Essek steadied him. “Let me show you to the bathroom and you can get cleaned up.”

Essek had a bright, spacious shower in the bathroom off his bedroom with a fold-down bench, which Caleb was very appreciative of in his current state. Essek pointed out the shampoos and soaps and found a spare bath puff and towel for Caleb to use.

“I’ll lay out some clothes for you in the bedroom,” he said. “Take as long as you need. Do you want something to eat? I might have a couple frozen pizzas in the freezer, or I could make some soup, or-?” He left the question open-ended.

Despite himself, Caleb cracked a smile. “I would think pizza would be some kind of unforgivable food for you.”

“Everyone needs a cheat day,” Essek said with a wink. “I’ll put one in the oven. I think we both deserve something cheesy and unhealthy.” He kissed Caleb’s cheek and left the bedroom.

Caleb blew out a breath and headed into the bathroom, leaning against the counter and gazing into the mirror. The man staring back at him was pale and haggard-looking, with eyes still faintly red from tears and exhaustion. 

With a sigh, he tugged off his sweaty clothes and stepped into the shower.

\--------

After 37 minutes, a good cathartic cry, and more scrubbing of his forearms than he’d like to admit, Caleb emerged into the bedroom, towel clutched around his waist. Essek had left a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt with a band name Caleb had never heard of on the bed. Frumpkin was curled next to them but lifted his head with a  _ mrrp? _ as Caleb came over and quickly pulled them on. The smell of pizza had pervaded the bedroom and Caleb’s stomach rumbled slightly.

That was a good sign, at least. Just the thought of food earlier had made him nauseous.

Caleb toweled off his hair once more and hung the towel back on a free rack in the bathroom. The man in the mirror still looked tired, but the redness was gone from his eyes and his face wasn’t so pale. Caleb glanced down, next, at the reflection of his arms. The scars stood out stark and pale and jagged, and for a moment Caleb considered asking Essek for a long-sleeved shirt instead.

But what would be the point? Essek knew what had happened. Essek wouldn’t pity him.

Essek wouldn’t  _ stare. _

Caleb glanced through the open door, properly taking in the bedroom-  _ Essek’s bedroom- _ for the first time. In contrast with the rest of the apartment, it looked more like the bedroom of an average person. The covers on the bed were in slight disarray. A sweatshirt was thrown near the TV on top of the low shelf across from the bed, one sleeve dangling to brush the floor. The prints on the wall were more personal than just vague artsy prints- there were several signed band posters framed in a row along one wall. A dress form stood in the corner, several swathes of fabric draped and pinned across it and a measuring tape hanging around the neck like a tiny scarf. There was a bookshelf taking up part of one wall and Caleb wandered over to peruse the titles- there was no better way to get to know someone than to look at their taste in books- and was pleased to one of his favorite fantasy series on one of the shelves, as well as several books he had heard of but hadn’t had the chance to read yet. Curiosity sated, he gathered his old clothes and padded barefoot out into the main area of the apartment.

Essek was in the kitchen, tossing a salad on the counter island in the middle of the area, also now wearing sweatpants and a tee. He looked up and smiled at Caleb. “There he is,” he said. “You look a lot better.” He noticed the clothes in Caleb’s arms. “Did you want to toss those in the wash? The laundry room is just down that hall there.” He pointed to a small hallway off to the side.

“I would appreciate that,” Caleb said, heading for the hall and dropping the bundle of clothes into the washer drum with a detergent pod. 

Just as he came back into the main area of the apartment, the oven timer beeped. Essek set down the salad tongs. “Perfect timing,” he said, snagging a pair of oven mitts over on the main counter and pulling out a pizza on a tray. “Didn’t know what sort of pizza you preferred so it’s just cheese. That all right?” He took a pizza cutter out of a drawer and began slicing up the pizza into squares.

Caleb nodded. “I am not a fan of very many toppings anyways,” he said. “A lot of toppings have… bad textures,” he finished, glancing down at the marble countertop and tracing the pattern a little self-consciously. “I do not like the way they feel when I eat them.”

“I get it,” Essek said simply. “I’ll keep that in mind for future meals. How about salad, and fruit? I have apples, mangoes, clementines, uh…” He turned and opened the fridge. “Oh, and peaches and pears.”

“I would not say no to a clementine and some salad,” Caleb said. “Along with the pizza, I mean.” 

Essek plucked one of the orange fruits from a bowl on the counter behind him and gently tossed it to Caleb, who caught it- surprising himself slightly- and began peeling it. Essek doled out a helping of salad onto a plate and scooped up several squares of pizza before sliding it over to Caleb.

Once Essek had plated food for himself, he came around and took the stool next to Caleb, folding his arms on the table and leaning on them gently, a smile curling around his lips. “You know, any other time I’d say there’s a joke somewhere about clothes sharing,” he teased gently. “As much as I wish it had happened under better circumstances, you  _ do _ look good in my shirt.” He bumped Caleb’s shoulder with his own.

Caleb ducked his head but smiled, which made Essek grin in turn.

“So, not to brag, but I have  _ quite _ an extensive movie collection,” Essek said, spearing a forkful of lettuce. “We could still have our movie night, if you’re feeling up to it.” 

Caleb pulled a clementine wedge out from the rest of the fruit. “I certainly would not be opposed to a distraction like that,” he said before popping the wedge in his mouth. 

“Would you like to move over to the couch, then?” Essek asked. “Or should we wait until we finish eating?”

“I do not want to risk spilling on your nice couch,” Caleb said, taking a bite of pizza. “Besides, if we go now, we could not cuddle with plates on our laps.”

“Well, the couch has removable upholstery,” Essek teased. “But your other argument is very compelling. Let’s finish dinner up here and then we can decide what to do next.”

They fell into a companionable silence. Caleb’s mind was still racing, but not as much about Trent- about Essek. Caleb had shared the sordid details of his past and Essek had not only not left, he’d somehow seemed to care about Caleb  _ more. _ He hadn’t been repulsed by the things Caleb had done, or what he’d caused to happen. 

Why?

Belatedly, he realized that Essek was saying his name gently. “Caleb? Caleb, you’ve been just holding that piece of pizza for a couple minutes now. What’s on your mind?”

Caleb shook his head slightly. “I- nothing. Just thinking.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Caleb set down the square of pizza. “I… I expected you to leave,” he said simply. “And you didn’t. We’ve only been together a week; I would not have held you at fault for not wanting to deal with my… baggage.”

Essek looked puzzled. “Leave? When- because of what’s happened to you?” He shook his head. “Caleb. I care deeply about you. I haven’t felt this way about someone for  _ years. _ You had something deeply traumatic happen to you when you were younger. It  _ was not your fault. _ I am not going to be upset or- or repulsed or anything like that- by something that was outside your control. You had no way of knowing what would happen. You were taken advantage of and suffered because of it. I want to do everything I can to  _ help _ you in this situation.” He placed a hand on each of Caleb’s shoulders. “I’m not going to  _ leave.” _

Caleb stared at Essek for a long moment and then exhaled, his head bowing slightly. “I have spent so long just… feeling guilty. I have blamed myself for my parents’ death for over fifteen years. I cannot help the feelings of ‘if I hadn’t’ and I have been living under the assumption that anyone who knew the full story would blame me too.”

Essek’s hands moved to gently cup Caleb’s jaw and Caleb felt the press of a kiss on the top of his head. “Guilt is a terrible thing,” Essek said. “I spent a long time feeling guilty for my father leaving my mother- he tried to throw me out when I came out to my parents. I was  _ thirteen. _ My mother gave him an ultimatum-  _ he _ could choose to stay or leave, but I would not be staying firmly in our home. So he left. Looking back, my mother was  _ far _ happier without him around, but at the time all I could feel was the weight of having caused a rift in their marriage.” He tipped Caleb’s chin up to meet his eyes. “It’s a vastly different situation of course, but the takeaway is that not everyone will view the things you feel guilty for in the same way.” He leaned forward slightly, pressing his forehead briefly against Caleb’s. “And it takes a long time to un-learn that sort of thing, and that’s okay.” He pulled back to hold Caleb at arm’s length. “So long as you recognize those things- and know that I will not leave you because of them- that’s all I ask for.”

Caleb didn’t realize how tense his shoulders had become and let them sink under Essek’s gentle hands. “I- I will try,” he said quietly.

“Good,” said Essek. “Thank you for trying.” He glanced down at the mostly-empty plates. “Did you want to go start up a movie?” 

Caleb nodded. The tiredness was beginning to seep back into his bones and he could already feel the slight prickling that meant his eyes would be getting heavy soon. 

Essek tipped his head over towards the sunken living room. “There’s a DVD shelf below the TV. Take a look while I clear this away?” He picked up the plates and went to the sink, tipping the remains of food into a trash can under the counter before opening the dishwasher. Caleb slid off the stool and went to the low cabinet under the TV. Essek’s collection was vast and eclectic. True to what he’d said in the coffee shop a few days ago, he had a large number of superhero movies, but quite a few older films as well. Caleb pulled out a movie that he hadn’t seen for several years. 

“What do you think about  _ The Princess Bride?” _ he asked as Essek descended into the sunken area. 

The drow grinned, exposing the subtly pointed canines that had escaped Caleb’s notice until recently. “I knew you had good movie taste.” He took the case from Caleb and popped the disc into a player tucked into a wall recess by the TV before going to settle down on the couch with a comfortable groan. He patted the cushion next to him. “Unless you’re going to spend the duration of the film on the floor? And I hope not, because I was promised cuddles.”

Caleb smiled and scrambled up onto the couch, settling in next to Essek. Essek lifted an arm, inviting Caleb to lean into his side- which Caleb accepted. Frumpkin jumped up on the couch shortly after and curled up on Caleb’s legs.

Essek dimmed the lights through an app before setting his phone aside and letting his arm drape across Caleb’s side. “I saw this in theaters,” he said. “Might’ve been the first movie I saw in a theater, actually. I was… five?”

“I was about that old as well, I believe,” Caleb said. “Although I did not see it immediately in theaters; I believe one of my friends had it on videotape and the first time I saw it was a few months after it came out.” He considered something. “That’s right, we are about the same age, are we not? I turned 31 in Thunsheer, a bit after Harvest’s Rise.” 

Essek chuckled. “Not too far off, yes. I’ll be 31 in Horisal. On New Dawn, actually.”

As the opening scenes began to play, Caleb chuckled. “I think this movie, when I got a bit older, was my first inkling that I was bi, actually,” he said. “When I thought both Buttercup  _ and _ Wesley were attractive.”

Essek laughed and Caleb could feel it vibrate through his own torso. “Fair! I mean, it’s hard  _ not _ to be attracted to that.” Essek pointed to the screen where Wesley was splitting wood blocks, handsome aasimar features shining- almost literally- through his farm boy grubbiness. 

Caleb’s eyes grew heavy sometime around the time that Wesley was fighting the goliath Fezzik and he only vaguely remembered the battle of wits before he was out like a light.

The next thing he knew, Essek was shaking his shoulder gently and he opened his eyes to the credits rolling.

“Come on, dear, I won’t have you spending the night on the couch.” Caleb rubbed his eyes as Essek gently pulled him to his feet. Frumpkin followed the two into Essek’s room and jumped up on the bed as Caleb sat down. Caleb watched as Essek opened a cupboard and pulled down a blanket and spare pillow.

“Wait- will you stay?” Caleb blurted out. Essek paused and looked slightly surprised but not at all displeased.

“Of course,  _ ssussun. _ I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but if you’d rather I stayed here-?”

Caleb nodded. “I- yes, I would rather that.”

Essek replaced the blanket and pillow and came over to the other side of the bed. “Any preferences about cuddling in the night?”

Caleb could feel his face grow a little bit warm. “As long as it’s just cuddling, I do not mind.” He flipped back the duvet and laid down, the mattress molding around him slightly as he did so. He felt the bed dip slightly as Essek laid down as well.

“Do you like the mattress?” Essek said. “It’s memory foam. Helps my joints at the end of the day.” Caleb felt the bed shift slightly and Essek moved closer, draping an arm over his waist. “Is this all right?”

Caleb hummed an affirmative, his eyes already closing again. 

“Sleep well,  _ ssussun,” _ Essek murmured from behind him.

And with the comforting weight of Essek’s arm around him, Caleb did.

\--------

**SATURDAY 21 CUERSAR**

The next day began absolutely perfectly. Caleb woke up to muted sunlight coming in through the window shades and the warmth of Essek’s body nearby- apparently Caleb had turned over in the night and nestled closer to him.

Essek shifted slightly and murmured something in the fugue halfway between waking and sleeping. Caleb draped his arm the same way Essek had done the night before, across Essek’s waist. 

_ “Guten Morgen,”  _ he said sleepily. Essek’s eyes blinked open and, after a moment, focused on Caleb, crinkling slightly as he smiled. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked softly, tipping his head to kiss Caleb’s forehead.

“Surprisingly, yes,” Caleb said. “I was expecting all manner of nighttime terrors, but it seems you kept them at bay.”

Essek sat up and stretched, his tee riding up and revealing the dark expanse of his midriff. Essek caught Caleb’s glance down and smirked. “Like what you see?”

Caleb glanced up sharply, pink flush creeping up his cheekbones. “I- ah- yes.” 

“I mean, I’d hope so,” Essek said, leaning over and catching Caleb’s chin before planting a brief kiss on his lips. “But in all seriousness, if my… innuendos ever get too much, please tell me? I know you want to take things slow and I absolutely will respect whatever boundaries you set.”

Caleb chuckled. “I do not mind the innuendos at all. I was a dirty-minded teen for a while too, you know. And-” he glanced briefly at the now-covered midriff again. “You are very nice to look at.” 

“I know; I made a whole career out of it,” Essek said with a laugh. “Are you feeling better this morning?” 

Caleb sat up with a quiet groan and stretched as well. “I am not looking forward to what has to happen next, but yes.”    
  
“If I might ask, what  _ does _ need to happen next?” Essek said, shifting so that he was facing Caleb. 

Caleb scrubbed his face with his hands. “Well, I need to meet with Agent Vord; I assume sometime today. She will likely have a representative from the ZPD with her and I will probably have to have a police escort until they recapture Trent and any associates, or she may just relocate me temporarily. Or both.” He sighed. “I may have to reschedule some of my shoots as well; if she wants to limit how much I go out in public.” 

Essek reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “Anything I can help with; you just say the word.”

Caleb leaned over and rested his head on Essek’s shoulder. “Thank you,  _ mein Mondlicht.” _

Essek hummed. “That’s a new word,” he said. 

“‘ _ My moonlight, _ ’” Caleb said against Essek’s shoulder. “If I’m your sunlight, I figured…” He lifted his head and shrugged. “And it is fitting,  _ ja?” _

“Oh, that’s  _ adorable,”  _ Essek said. “I  _ love _ it.” He kissed Caleb’s temple. “Let’s do breakfast. Something hearty to help you conquer the day.” He swung his feet over the side of the bed and winced. “Ooh. Caleb, love, would you run over to the front door and grab one of my canes? I forgot to leave one nearby last night and it seems today will not be as pain-free as yesterday blissfully was.”

Caleb quickly did as Essek bid and soon the two were heading out into the main area. Essek took a seat on one of the stools. “So, what do you want for breakfast? I’ve got cereal, eggs, I think pancake mix, fruit, bacon…” He made to get up, but Caleb put his hands on Essek’s shoulders and stopped him with a kiss on the forehead. 

“Let me make something. You’ve been a very gracious host; now it is my turn to return the favor.”

Caleb began rummaging through the cupboards. “Have you got a cast-iron skillet, or at least a deep frying pan?”

Essek pointed down to one of the lower cupboards. “All my pots and pans are down there. If I’ve got what you need, that’s where it’ll be.”

Caleb found a suitable pan and began pulling ingredients down from the pantry and in the refrigerator.

Behind him, Essek chuckled. “Do I get to know what you’re making or are you surprising me?” 

Caleb turned, flour on one of his fingers, and tapped Essek on the nose, leaving a dot of white that stood out against the deep blue-gray of his skin. “You will just have to be patient and see,  _ Herr _ Thelyss.”

Essek chuckled and rubbed at his nose, wiping away the flour. “If I must. Anything else you need?”

“Ah… measuring cups.” Caleb retrieved the cups from the drawer Essek indicated and got to work. Before long, he’d slid the pan into the oven and the sweet smell of the pastry had begun to seep out into the apartment.

“It smells amazing, Caleb. Kind of like a pancake, but sweeter?” Essek mused.

“Mm, you are not far off. It is a Zemnian baby pancake,” Caleb said. “It is more of a pastry than a pancake. We used to make them when I was little for special occasions.” He took a seat on the stool next to Essek and twined the fingers of one hand through Essek’s. Frumpkin chirped from the floor before jumping from to a stool and then onto the island, rubbing his head under Essek’s chin and purring loudly. 

“He knows,” Caleb said simply. “What a smart  _ Katze.” _ He reached over and scratched Frumpkin behind the ears.

In Caleb’s pocket, his phone began ringing and he pulled it out. “This would be Agent Vord,” he said, his shoulders tensing slightly. He answered the call and Essek listened to his half of the conversation.

“ _ Hallo, _ Agent Vord. Yes, I am all right … No, I spent the night at my boyfriend’s place.” Caleb couldn’t help but smile at Essek at the words and Essek couldn’t help the warm feeling that blossomed in his chest.

Caleb continued speaking. “I would say it has better security by far than my own building, yes. Key card access points, front desk security, the works … Yes, he is aware of the- the situation. I know, I was not supposed to discuss it, I am sorry. I was with him when the news broke; I… reacted poorly and he was worried, I had to explain … Yes, I assumed as much. I can be available at any time … All right … Uh, it is-” Caleb held his phone against his chest. “What is the address of your building?” Essek gave it to him and Caleb relayed it to the woman on the other end of the line. “All right. I will see you later today. Thank you.” Caleb shut his phone off and sighed, looking over at Essek. “She has set up a meeting for later today. She is sending an escort at noon to bring me to her office.” He chuckled with a hint of bitterness. “She was not entirely pleased when I told her you knew of the situation, but that cannot be helped.”

Essek placed a gentle hand on Caleb’s back and rubbed circles between his shoulder blades. “I am honored that you trust me enough to break that code of silence you were supposed to keep,” he said. “Can I do anything for you while you’re at the meeting? Go get stuff from your apartment or anything?”

Caleb smiled. “As comfortable as your clothes are, I would like to have my own, and I need my laptop and phone charger… I should make a list. I will see what she wants me to do; if I am to stay away from my apartment for the foreseeable future or not.”

Essek reached over and combed out a tangle in Caleb’s hair with a couple fingers. “That can be arranged. I can even have someone go discreetly if you need it. We’ll see what needs to happen, but for now, tell me more about this Zemnian baby? It smells heavenly; how much longer do I have to wait to try it?”

\-------

A couple hours later, Zemnian baby eaten, showers taken, and clothes retrieved from the dryer, Caleb dressed and Essek escorted him down to the lobby where he was introduced to Ulumon, the minotaur manning (or was it tauring?) the security desk. 

“Caleb may be staying with me for the foreseeable future and I’ll be providing images of people I’ll need you to be vigilant about,” Essek said to the hulking minotaur in a low voice. “Under no circumstances will those people be allowed into the building.”

Ulumon nodded. “Of course, Mr. Thelyss,” he said in a low voice like rolling thunder. 

Essek turned to Caleb. “Do you know who you’re waiting for?”

Caleb was glancing out the front doors of the building. “Yes, Agent Vord sent me a car model and a license plate, and a picture of the driver.”

“And you’ll text me when you’re on your way back, so I can be ready to get you inside?”

“Yes,  _ mein Mondlicht,” _ Caleb promised. “If that is what Agent Vord decides is best, the driver will bring me back here.” 

An elven man approached the doors. He wore an unassuming blazer with a pair of stylish jeans, looking much like the sort of person who had taken up residence in the building. Caleb glanced down at a photo on his phone. “That is the one I am waiting for,” he said. He turned and pressed a brief kiss to Essek’s lips. “I will keep you updated.”

“Be safe,  _ ssussun,” _ Essek said as Caleb followed the elf out to a waiting car.

\-------

Despite the tension and the security, Caleb made it to and from the meeting with little trouble. Essek was waiting at the front door when he came back and pulled him into a hug once he’d cleared the double doors before kissing him on the forehead.

“I’m glad to have you back,” he murmured. “I take it the agent is letting you stay here for the time being?”

Caleb nodded. “Her associate compared the security of our buildings and they agreed that this was the safer place to stay until I can leave town- which she also wants me to do.”

Essek was silent for a moment, a contemplative look on his face. “Would coming to Xhorhas for the winter be sufficient?”

Caleb smiled at him as they entered the elevator. “Are you offering?”

“I had a trip home planned for the holiday season,” Essek said as the doors closed and they began to rise. “I was going later next month but I think considering the circumstances I could move some dates around.”

“If you are willing to bring me, I would love to see your home,” Caleb said. “It would be much preferable to being shipped off somewhere. I will check with Agent Vord to see if that’s all right.”

The elevator slowed to a halt and they headed down the hall. “And what else do you need to take care of?” Essek asked as he unlocked the door.

“I need to retrieve some things from my apartment,” Caleb said. “That is the biggest thing. I will put a list together; if you are still willing to send someone.”

Essek nodded. “And do you need to do anything at your studio? Cancel any appointments or anything?”

Caleb sighed. “I will still be allowed to do shoots there provided my police escort does security sweeps beforehand each time I go. And I have to alert them every time I want to leave the place I am because they will be following me.” He scrubbed his cheeks with one hand. “It is just… a lot,” he said. 

Essek pulled him into a gentle hug, one hand cradling the back of his head and the other pressing securely along his spine. “We will get through this, Caleb. I swear to you; I will do whatever I can to help you.”

Caleb murmured his thanks into Essek’s shoulder, and then- “Can we watch another movie? I think I need another movie.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, y'all, I am so sorry for the absence. quarantine really did a number on my mental health and productivity levels, but thank you so much to the new readers that still commented over the last couple months; you really helped me get back into it.

**|Thursday 4 Duscar|**

Miserable and exhausted.

Essek could see it in the tightness around Caleb’s eyes, in the tensely-raised shoulders that never seemed to come down, in the way his head hung a little lower at the end of each day. The constant fear and tension were taking a toll on his boyfriend’s mental and emotional health, not to mention the way he hadn’t managed to sleep through the night for the past week. The first few days had been fine- Caleb had adjusted to staying at Essek’s place _quite_ well, thank you- but after the first fifty check-ins and the way someone always fell subtly into step behind Caleb whenever he had to venture out of the apartment, it was wearing on him. 

A week ago Caleb had woken up with a yell in a cold sweat, startling Essek awake as well and it had taken half an hour before he’d managed to calm Caleb down enough to stop the shaking.

After it had happened again the next night, Caleb had sequestered himself on the couch in the living room, claiming he couldn’t keep disturbing Essek’s sleep like that. Despite Essek’s assurances that he absolutely was not, Caleb wouldn’t rejoin him in his own bedroom. Essek had the feeling that it was less about feeling bad for disturbing him and more about Caleb’s own shame and annoyance with the occurrences.

But he wasn’t going to push it. He wasn’t going to cross boundaries and ruin the budding relationship. If Caleb felt ready, he’d come back. And if he chose not to, that was all right too.

(Although Essek had liked having a warm body in the bed with him, and he missed it.)

Essek compensated by spending each evening cuddling on the couch with Caleb, who at least very much welcomed that. He and Caleb were both counting down the days until they left for Rohsohna. Essek wished they could’ve left right away, but he hadn’t been able to reschedule a few of his meetings and shoots and so they were forced to wait until the second week of the month. 

“Just a few more days, _ssussun,”_ Essek murmured, running a hand through Caleb’s hair and lifting a few strands to play with. “Just a few more days and then we’ll be out of here.” Essek was sitting on the couch while Caleb lay with his head in Essek’s lap.

Caleb stared up at him with tired eyes. The faint purple circles under his eyes stood out against the skin that Essek felt had gotten too pale over the last week. “I’m just so tired of it all, _liebling,”_ he murmured. “I am tired of having to keep so alert and I am tired of being _scared.”_ He took a hitched breath and Essek saw tears shining in his eyes. Caleb blinked and one spilled out of the corner of one eye, running down his temple into his hairline. “I hate the loss of control.” He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and gave a little sniffle.

Essek carded his fingers through Caleb’s hair, pushing it back and gently working out the tangles he hit. “I know, Caleb. I wish I could help more.”

Caleb reached up and took Essek’s hand. “You are already doing more than enough, _mein Mondlicht.”_ He pressed Essek’s fingers to his lips and then held Essek’s hand to his cheek. “I cannot thank you enough and I cannot imagine what going through this alone would’ve been like.”

“You’re not alone, Caleb,” Essek said softly. “You have so many people who love you and care about you. I’m just one.”

“You are right,” Caleb conceded, looking fondly up at him. “But you are an important one.”

There indeed had been no shortage of support for Caleb once the situation had been made public to his friends. Multiple people had taken it upon themselves to become a bodyguard of sorts for Caleb, including Jester’s girlfriend Beau and Molly’s propmaker friend Yasha, not to mention Jester herself, who certainly was not lacking in the muscles department. Caleb had never met her before but had seen some of her creations during Molly’s shoots. Yasha had a gentle soul, but her hulking build and imposing demeanor were enough to scare even Caleb- not to mention she had two _real actual swords._ Not prop ones- real steel blades and heavy pommels that she apparently was _very_ good at using. When Molly had introduced her to Caleb, she’d not had a real one with her but she did have a very realistic-looking one strapped to her back.

“I figure it’s good to let people know what they will be dealing with if they mess with me,” she’d said bluntly. “They don’t have to know it isn’t real.”

The three women had worked out a schedule to make sure they were almost always with Caleb when he needed to get from one place to another. All of them had regular full-time jobs outside of their crafting or self-defense hobbies, but somehow they’d worked out a way for at least one of them to be available to act as hired muscle when Caleb needed it.

Essek stretched slightly under Caleb, prompting Caleb to start sitting up. 

“Do I need to move?” he asked. “Am I making your legs fall asleep?”

Essek laughed gently. “No, don’t worry. You’re perfectly fine right where you are.” He resumed petting Caleb’s hair, weaving a couple strands together. “Although if you want dinner you may need to move eventually.”

As if on cue, Caleb’s stomach rumbled slightly and he chuckled. “It may be sooner than I thought.”

Essek smiled, but inside he was just relieved that Caleb was hungry at all. There had been days recently where Caleb’s appetite had been minimal if not nonexistent and Essek could already tell that Caleb had been losing weight from the stress. He didn’t need poor nutrition contributing as well.

“Well, what are you hungry for, _ssussun?”_ he asked. “We could make something, or order in. I’ve been craving that Marquesian place a couple blocks over- what was it called? Gilmore’s something?”

“Gilmore’s Glorious Grub,” Caleb supplied. “I could go for some of their falafel, or some manakish.”

“I will get you _so_ much falafel,” Essek said, squirming slightly to dig his phone out of his pocket.

Soon enough, the order had been placed, the delivery had been collected, and Essek was on his way back up to the apartment with a bulging takeout bag.

Caleb managed to finish off six falafels and two helpings of manakish before he declared himself full, and Essek cleared the plates with a small smile on his face. While he was rinsing the plates in the sink, a pair of arms snaked around his waist and he felt a chin rest on his shoulder. 

“Well hello,” he said gently, turning his head slightly towards Caleb. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Nothing in particular,” Caleb said from behind him. “Just wanted to.”

Essek turned off the water and dried his hands before settling them on top of Caleb’s. He began to sway back and forth gently, quietly humming something old and slow as he did. He turned around within Caleb’s arms, draping his arms over Caleb’s shoulders. It struck him that Caleb was a couple inches taller than he was. He tucked his head in the crook of Caleb’s neck and felt Caleb rest his cheek against Essek’s head.

“What are you humming?” Caleb asked.

“It’s an old Xhorhasian folk song,” Essek said. “About dancing with your lover in the moonlight.”

Essek felt the gentle vibrations through his chest as Caleb chuckled. “Is that something you would like to do while we are on vacation?”

Essek pressed a kiss into Caleb’s neck. “I certainly wouldn’t mind it. There’s no shortage of moonlight in Rosohna, at any rate.”

Caleb nodded, swaying in a slow circle with Essek. “Because of the longer nights, _ja?”_

“Eighteen hours of darkness in the summer,” Essek said. “Very convenient for the drow population.” 

Behind them, there was a gentle _thump_ as Frumpkin jumped up on the counter and reached out, pawing the air as though he wanted to join in. Caleb reached out and scooped up the cat, cradling him one-handed between his and Essek’s bodies.

“Don’t worry, _katze,_ you are still my favorite,” he murmured.

Essek gasped in mock affront before giggling and dipping his head to kiss the cat.

\-------

Later, as Essek was finishing a face wash in the bathroom, he heard the sound of bare feet padding across the floor of his bedroom. He rinsed his hands and turned around to find Caleb standing tentatively in the middle of the room, twisting the hem of his shirt between his fingers.

“I… I was hoping to join you tonight,” Caleb said. “The couch has become a bit lonely.” 

Essek smiled. “You know you are always welcome in here,” he said, drying off his hands. “The bed has felt very empty without you.”

The two brushed their teeth and before long the two were snuggled up together under the soft sheets. 

“It’s funny,” Essek murmured, draping his arm around Caleb’s middle and pulling him a little closer. “I spent so long sleeping alone that you would think it would be easy to go back to it.”

“But it wasn’t?” came the mumbled query.

“Not in the slightest,” Essek said, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly.

The next morning, Essek noted with some satisfaction that nightmares had not woken Caleb once.

\-------

**|Sunday 7 Duscar|**

The next few days were a flurry of packing, making last-minute schedule adjustments, and checking and double-checking flight information. Caleb seemed to be walking around with less weight on his shoulders with all the distractions and Essek couldn’t wait until they were on the airplane and away from the city. 

Finally, the hour of departure arrived. Essek and Caleb stood in the apartment’s small foyer, surrounded by suitcases, bags, Essek’s wheelchair, and a very bemused Frumpkin. Caleb was wrapping that geometric scarf Essek loved so much around his neck.

“Windows are locked, heat is turned off, garbage is all empty…” Essek glanced down at the checklist of last-minute items on his phone. “I think that’s everything.” 

Caleb bent slightly and pulled up the handle of his suitcase (a deep plum one that Essek had bought for him, possibly with his coat in mind) and smiled. He clicked his tongue at Frumpkin, who was harnessed and leashed and bent down, letting the cat jump up to his shoulder. “You are sure Frumpkin is allowed to fly with us?”

“Yes, Caleb, I’ve double-checked a couple times. Don’t worry. He’s a service animal; you have documentation and we’ve made all the arrangements,” Essek reassured him. “And if they give us any trouble, I’ll take care of it. I can be very persuasive when I want to be, and after all, the WDA has your back.”

Caleb nodded. “Okay. I just- I have never flown before. Even when I- when I moved here, it was by car.”

Essek took Caleb’s free hand and gave it a squeeze. “Don’t worry. I’m a pro.” Essek popped up the handle on his silvery faux-leather suitcase and placed the matching carry-on bag on top, latching it to the main suitcase before sitting down and taking the handle with one hand, propelling himself towards the door with the other. “Ready?” 

Caleb nodded and scooped up his other bag, slinging it over his Frumpkin-less shoulder. “Very much so, _ja.”_

The two headed out into the hallway and Essek locked his apartment door as Caleb went and called the elevator. “One of Agent Vord’s associates is tailing us to the airport. She says we may have another agent in Xhorhas; she has been coordinating with local agencies there. She wants to avoid sending someone from Zadash that would stand out among the local population.”

Essek joined him just as the elevator gave a _ding_ and the doors slid open.The two stepped into the plush interior, Essek going over a couple more things that were more for Caleb’s benefit than his own. “Olomon will be doing a sweep of the apartment daily to ensure that nothing out of the ordinary has happened and he’ll contact the Zadash police and Agent Vord if he sees anyone suspicious.”

The elevator slowed and opened onto the lobby. Olomon glanced up as the two emerged into the lobby. “Headed to the airport?” he rumbled. When Essek nodded, he smiled. “Have a good trip! It’s been some time since I found myself in Xhorhas- I grew up in Assarius, myself.”

“Really?” Essek said, an intrigued look on his face. “We shall have to sit down and have a chat about that at some point; I had no idea you were Xhorhasian as well!” He glanced outside, spotting their agent’s now-familiar car idling at the curb and the OurRide van idling just ahead of it. “Yes, we’re headed out- just wanted to stop and say goodbye and let you know that we were leaving!”

Olomon nodded. “Thanks for the heads-up. Enjoy the trip and say hello to Dierta for me!” He stepped out from behind the desk to hold the main door open.

Essek chuckled as he rolled past and out onto the sheltered landing outside. “Will do, my friend.” At Caleb’s slightly confused expression he elaborated. “Dierta is my mother; she’s met Olomon on more than more than one occasion when she’s come to visit. She adores him; though frankly I haven’t yet found anyone who’s met Olomon that _doesn’t_ love him- as long as they don’t get on his bad side.” Caleb took Essek’s suitcase so Essek could ease himself down the ramp leading off one side of the landing and followed him down to the waiting van. The silver dragonborn waiting at the driver’s side had seen them coming and already had the accessible ramp lowered. “Essek Thelyss?” she asked as they approached. 

“That’s me,” Essek said with a bright smile. 

“Can I grab any of your bags?” she offered, turning to Caleb. “Cute cat!”

“Uh, _ja_ , thank you,” he said, stepping aside. 

The dragonborn popped the trunk and hefted the suitcases inside. “My name’s Jerra; I’ll be your courier today,” she said. “You’re headed to Zadash International, right? Main terminal?”

“You’ve got it,” Essek said. “Thank you for having an accessible van available, by the way. I’m glad OurRide has taken the initiative to have the option available.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Jerra agreed as she climbed into the driver’s seat and started up the van. “My son actually uses a chair too but he moved out a few years ago, so I figured that I would keep the van for this sort of thing.” She glanced at Essek in the rearview mirror. “Big fan, by the way.” Her dark eyes crinkled in a smile. “My son looks up to you quite a bit; said that it was seeing a prominent model who was disabled that made him stop feeling so self-conscious about using a wheelchair.”

Essek blushed but grinned widely, showing off his small fangs. “That’s so wonderful to hear!” he said. “Does he have any social media, or anything? I’d love to send him a message.” 

Jerra’s eyes lit up. “Oh, really? That would be amazing, oh my goodness. Um-” Her eyes rolled up briefly in thought. “I think he started a “wheelchair life” sort of thing on Instagram, I can look it up when we get to the airport!” She wiggled slightly in her seat. “Oh, this is just going to make his day!”

The drive to the airport was uneventful but filled with good conversation. Jerra helped them unload their bags at the Departures entrance of the terminal and wished them a pleasant time in Xhorhas. She and Essek chatted for a moment before Essek wrote down her son’s social media handle and shook her hand. Jerra thanked him, her eyes shining, before climbing back into her van and pulling out into the flow of traffic.

“She’s going to be very happy when she sees her tip,” Essek said with a chuckle, watching the van turn a corner and vanish.

There was the sound of someone quietly clearing their throat behind them and the two turned to find their assigned agent standing on the sidewalk nearby. “Agent Vord requested that I see you to the airport gates,” he said. “You’ll have a new detail once you arrive in Xhorhas. She’ll meet you at Arrivals there; she’ll be waiting with a sign like a driver. She’s a drow woman; shoulder length hair.”

Caleb nodded. “Thank you for helping with…” He waved his hand. “All this. It is much appreciated.” 

The agent nodded, and with a “Safe travels” he climbed back into his car and pulled away.

Essek reached out and took Caleb’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Ready?” he asked.

Caleb nodded, his free hand flapping gently at his side for a moment before he released Essek’s hand to take the two suitcases. “Extremely.”

Essek led the way through the automatic doors into the bustling building. People stood at kiosks printing luggage tags, in lines at the counters to check bags and- of course- in line at the security checkpoints. 

Essek nodded toward the baggage check stations. “Over there first,” he said. “Make sure you have your boarding pass and your ID out.” He wheeled one-handed towards an open line for their airline while digging his own pass out of his pocket. 

Baggage check went relatively smoothly apart from an awkward moment when the elf at the counter assumed Frumpkin would be kenneled in the luggage compartment, and soon they were joining the security line. Caleb was running his fingers through Frumpkin’s fur and looking nervously ahead at the x-ray machines. Essek reached up and took his hand.

“It’s going to be fine,” he said. “Service animals pass through here all the time. They know what to do and Frumpkin won’t leave your side.”

They stepped up to the checkpoint and the agent scanned their boarding passes and IDs before directing them to one of the lines. Essek stood from his chair and showed Caleb how to unpack certain items in his carryon and load up one of the plastic bins by the conveyor belt.

“Make sure your pockets are empty,” Essek murmured to Caleb as the line oozed forward slowly. Caleb held Frumpkin against his chest and nodded. Essek reached the front first and handed his chair off to a security officer before stepping into the small chamber and raising his hands. Once he was through to the other side, an officer beckoned Caleb forward. 

“Hold your cat still, please,” she said as Caleb stepped inside. Essek watched as he collected his items that were coming through on the conveyor belt. Caleb held absolutely still for a moment before the agent directed him to continue on.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Essek said as Caleb joined him, an agent bringing his wheelchair over momentarily after.

Caleb chuckled, retrieving his plastic tub of stuff. “ _Nein,_ but I’ve heard horror stories and I suppose that did not help my anxiety.” Frumpkin twined around his ankles as he put his shoes on.

“Well, the good news is that that’s the worst part of it, honestly. It’s mostly just lots of waiting around now.” Essek checked his phone. “We have...an hour and some change until boarding begins. Let’s get something to eat and we can shop around a little bit.” He placed his carryon bag on his lap and rolled away from the security checkpoint with Caleb at his side.

“Essek, I have been wondering,” Caleb said as they walked. “I assumed the holiday season we are taking time off for was Winter’s Crest, but that is not widely celebrated in Wildemount. Is it a more prominent holiday in Rosohna?”

Essek chuckled. “No, it’s not- there’s actually a different holiday drows celebrate around this time. The days are already shorter down there but right around the winter solstice there’s one day when the sun barely rises past a dawn level. _Eath Ahnvae_ \- Endless Night; because there’s more than forty consecutive hours of darkness. The Rosohna population basically throws a massive street festival for the duration of it. There’s always stuff going on somewhere, so you can go home and sleep and then just come back out and rejoin the festivities.” He smiled. “However, the agency closes down for basically the whole month because there are so many holidays that happen this month and there are quite a few employees from Tal’Dorei that go home to celebrate Winter’s Crest.” He stopped pushing his wheels for a moment, letting himself roll as he thought. “On a related note, we may want to get you some Vitamin D supplements when we arrive.” He took Caleb’s pale hand and kissed it briefly. “I know you’re a pale redhead but three weeks with very little sunlight can’t be good for even you,” he teased. 

Caleb blushed but chuckled. “I suppose you are correct.” He glanced to his right as they passed a food court. “I don’t know about you, but I am craving pizza,” he said.

“If it’s pizza you want, then just wait- there’s a great wood-fired pizza place just a little further on,” Essek said. “Much better than that chain place down there.”

“You had me at wood-fired,” Caleb said. “Lead the way.”

\-------

Some thirty minutes later, after a very delicious pizza (Essek had been right, of course), Caleb and Essek were making their way through the concourses to their gate. They stopped to enjoy a couple of art installations on the way- Essek pointed out a sculpture by a Xhorhasian artist- before their gate number came into view down the hall. They took their seats in the waiting area before Caleb stood up again. “I need to use the restroom, actually,” he said, placing Frumpkin in his seat with a murmured _“Bleib, Katze_.” “I think we passed one a few gates back- I will just be a few minutes.” He headed back down the concourse, Essek admiring the way his plum-colored coat flared out behind him as he walked until he disappeared from view. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to find a message from Leylas.

_Leylas Kryn 3:13 pm_

_You two in the air yet? Have a good trip! [drow kissy face emoji]_

_Essek Thelyss 3:14 pm_

_Still waiting for boarding- 20 mins or so. When are you getting into Rosohna again? We should do dinner with our families._

Leylas had discovered just a day or so ago that she’d also be going back home over the holidays so of course she and Essek had already thrown dinner ideas around.

_Leylas Kryn 3:15 pm_

_The 15th, but then my family and I are going to Assarius for a few days. Should we plan on a solstice eve dinner and then we can all go out to the festival together?_

_Essek Thelyss 3:16 pm_

_It’s a date! I can’t wait until Caleb sees the festivities._

_Leylas Kryn 3:16 pm_

_Is he doing okay, by the way? I feel terrible that I haven’t gotten the chance to check on you two during all of this._

_Essek Thelyss 3:17 pm_

_He had a rough couple weeks but I think this will be good for him. He’s been in much better spirits the last couple days._

_Leylas Kryn 3:18 pm_

_Good. I can’t wait to see him again as well! Give him my regards._

_Essek Thelyss 3:18 pm_

_Will do, Ley. See you in Rosohna [drow kissy face emoji] [drow kissy face emoji]_

_Leylas Kryn 3:19 pm_

_[drow kissy face emoji] [drow kissy face emoji]_

Speaking of Caleb-

Essek glanced up, looking for the returning figure of his boyfriend but saw nothing. Maybe there was a line in the bathroom- the gates around them were all pretty busy.

\-------

Ten minutes later, Essek began to worry. Boarding began in less than five minutes. He scooped up Frumpkin, asked the older gnome woman sitting next to him if she would mind watching the bags (“Not at all, dear!”) and rolled toward the bathroom.

A man leaving held the door open for him as he approached but once the man had left it was clear the bathroom was empty.

“Caleb?” Essek said aloud. 

Nothing. Essek wheeled himself past each stall, pushing the doors open as he passed, until he spotted something familiar on the floor in the fourth one. He scooped it up to confirm- it was Caleb’s phone, the wallet case made to look like an old book.

Mouth suddenly very dry, Essek turned and wheeled himself out of the bathroom as fast as he could manage. He went over to the nearby newsstand and up to the half-orc man standing outside it.

“Excuse me, did you see a human man around here recently?” he asked. “Red hair, purplish coat?”

The half-orc nodded with an odd expression on his face. “Yeah, a security guard brought him out of the bathroom about ten minutes ago. He looked in bad shape though- guard was half carrying him. Must have had a few too many preflight drinks, eh?” the half-orc joked. “Guard must’ve taken him to sober up somewhere private; he took him through there.” He nodded at a door across the hall from the bathrooms marked PERSONNEL ONLY.

Essek gripped the wheels of his chair to stop his hands from trembling. Caleb hadn’t had a thing to drink all day. What could’ve caused-

“Hey, buddy, you all right? You look kind of pale.” The half-orc was talking but Essek was already pushing at the wheels of his chair as fast as he could manage. He frantically scanned the concourse for the nearest security guard- a half-elven woman leaving the convenience store about thirty yards ahead.

“I need help!” he called as he drew near her, causing her to turn.

“What’s the issue, sir?” she asked.

Essek took a couple deep breaths. “A guard escorted my boyfriend from the bathroom and through there-” Essek pointed at the PERSONNEL ONLY door. “And I need to know where he’s been taken to. The man at the newsstand said that he looked drunk- my boyfriend, not the guard- but I know for a fact he hasn’t had anything to drink and I’m worried about him, our flight is boarding-” Essek glanced at a nearby clock on the wall. “- _now,_ and if he really is somehow drunk I’d just like to get him on the plane.”

The guard raised an eyebrow, then furrowed both as Essek continued to talk before pulling a walkie-talkie from her belt. “Description of your boyfriend?”

“Human man, red hair in a ponytail, purple coat, blue scarf with geometric patterns on it,” Essek rattled off. His heart was pounding and he clenched a fist on the arm of his chair. Frumpkin nosed at his fist, pushing his face between Essek’s fingers.

The guard spoke into her walkie-talkie. “Concourse 3, did anyone take an intoxicated guest into custody in the last fifteen minutes?” She repeated Essek’s description of Caleb and released the button. Several voices came through in sequence, all giving negatives. The woman frowned. “Come with me,” she said to Essek. He followed her through the concourse to a door marked SECURITY. “Please wait here,” she said, before disappearing inside.

Essek spent an agonizing three minutes rolling slightly forward and backward, tapping his finger on the arm of his chair, and running his fingers through Frumpkin’s fur. Finally, _finally,_ the door opened- but it wasn’t the half-elf guard who came out first. Two others exited and headed for the PERSONNEL ONLY door at a brisk walk before the original guard came out. She wore an expression that made Essek’s stomach drop.

“We have a situation,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😈 
> 
> (next chapter will be hopefully be up next week instead of my usual two week gap)


End file.
